It's been a few weeks without a B List. My apologies to those who were looking forward to that as a weekly feature. It should be back on, but it may be more sports related as I am amped up about football season being back.
As I prepare for the 9,000 fantasy leagues I've entered, I am also getting ready to start my favorite gambling season of all - NFL & NCAA gambling.
I know many friends of mine who are casual gamblers, some of them are more of the daily type of gamblers - you all know who you are, damn degenerates. In this B List, I'll focus on some of my personal do's and don'ts when it comes to gambling. I've gotten better at following most/all of these, but there are times where the degenerate in me comes out and I piss away my money.
Enjoy.
7. Do some research. It sounds simple, but it's an important part of gambling. It can be something as simple as reading a couple of pre-game stories or studying the injury report or as complicated as studying gambling trends of the teams in the game. I haven't found a specific routine when I study before a bet. With baseball, I like to use stats I find on baseball-reference.com. Also, SportsInsights.com offers free betting information that shows you what sites offer what lines and how heavily each team/side is being bet.
Occasionally, I will go with a gut pick, and obviously Week 1 picks are based on hunches, as we haven't seen the current ensemble of players play together in a meaningful game. As you've seen more games from a team, you should have a better idea on how a team will play together.
6. Don't bet if you are the type to get mentally/physically ill from losing money. Whether you bet just $5 or $100, if you can't handle losing, then I suggest not betting. Gambling is not for the faint of heart. When you do this as long as I have, you'll encounter some messed up losses and unreal wins. Anyone can handle the wins, but not everyone can handle the losses. If you're one of those folks, never gamble.
5. Don't bet with your heart. Too many people I know bet on their favorite teams, many of them blindly. Long term, this isn't a good approach. Your judgement on whether your team will win or not will usually err on the side of "win". If you're a real fan of the team, watching the game without betting on it should be good enough without adding the extra stress of wagering money on them to cover the 10 point spread.
4. Do expect to win if you gamble. Don't look at it as gambling - look at it as sports investing. Entering the gambling world with a little bit of confidence is good, but just don't expect to win every single bet. At the same time, don't bet if you've got the mindset, "I'm likely to piss this money away."
3. Do set limits for yourself. If you make 200-300 bucks a week, you probably shouldn't be gambling as much as someone who makes closer to a grand. I've heard different theories on how much of your bankroll you should risk on every game, but don't make a habit of risking anything close to what you make in a week. You're just asking for broken legs from bookies and/or really crappy
2. Do not chase losses. If your early bet lost, don't feel compelled to bet on a later game that you had no intention of betting just to try cancelling out the loss from earlier. This usually results in losing double the amount of money for the day, as you'll usually just end up making a bet for the sake of betting.
1. Do take a closer look at gambling lines that seem like "Locks". In case you hadn't noticed, Vegas and other places who rely on gambling revenue for survival don't just hand money out. If you see a line that makes you think they're handing you free money, maybe you should take a closer look at it. You're likely missing some key factors in why the line is lower than what you think it should be. Some folks frown upon this, but I often end up betting against what the general public bets. My weekly gambling column features "Fool's Gold", which highlights a line that seems too good to be true and usually has a high volume of public bettors betting on it.
Showing posts with label b list. Show all posts
Showing posts with label b list. Show all posts
8/17/2012
B List - Fantasy Football Draft Tips (List 14)
Hi, my name is Brian, and I have a fantasy football problem.
No, the problem isn't that I'm currently in six fantasy leagues (four of which are for money). No. The fantasy football problem is that I'm not the defending champion in any of them. Granted, two of the leagues are new. But still - it's my fault for not winning them before being in the leagues or before they were actually created.
Anywho, since I'm in leagues with many of you, I'll give you my thoughts on how I approach these leagues. Perhaps they will help you, or perhaps they will turn you into a (bigger) loser. I can't tell you who to pick, or even any of my sleepers. Perhaps if Yahoo or NFL.com paid me to give a fantasy opinion, I would. But since neither of them do, all I can give you is my approach to each draft.
7. Don't over-study - There's numerous sites that offer their fantasy football opinions. Some opinions cancel each other out. Other opinions are based on group-think ("hey, this publication says this guy is gonna be a rising star, better have him ranked high). The truth is, a lot of it is guess work. You can study stats, fantasy magazines and rankings all day long, but all of the information you consume could overwhelm you - if you're studying up on these players too hard. Just use your best judgment when it comes to players and their situations. It doesn't hurt to do a mock draft or two, but you probably don't need to do 9 or 10 of them.
6. Don't stress about bye weeks - That's not to say it should be completely ignored, but if you're the type to draft a guy based solely on his bye week (say a backup QB for your Brady or Rodgers), you're going about it wrong. Think about how much turnover you have from the time you draft until the very end of the season. Odds are, about half of your team will be different. No use in picking a guy because he's not on Bye Week 8 when your top guy is playing when you're likely to drop the guy anyways for an emerging free agent.
5. Handcuffed RBs: a dying breed - For those of you who have been in leagues for a while, you have probably heard of the idea that you need to make sure you draft the backup running back of your star RB (i.e. a handcuff). If you're still practicing this trend, you should probably stop (unless you have one of the handful of guys who have a well-known talented backup). The investment in these guys isn't worth a high pick, although perhaps one of your last two or three picks could be spent on them. I wouldn't reach for many of the backups though strictly because you own a starter.
4. Look at Team Schedules for Fantasy Playoffs - Are you stuck between two players - and do you believe you have a legitimate shot at making the fantasy playoffs? If you need a tie-breaker between two guys in the mid-to-late rounds, take a look at each team's opponents for when the fantasy playoffs would be. If your assessment of your team being playoff-worthy is correct, then you can capitalize on the matchups that will take place during the playoffs. Granted, you can't always project how certain teams will do (last year, over half of the league had a shift in wins of 3 or more). But if you have a general idea of how a team will do, then you may have a leg up when the fantasy playoffs roll around and you have great matchups ahead of you.
3. Kicker in the Last Rounds - Unless you're in a league that heavily emphasizes kickers (and if you are, you probably shouldn't be in the league), then you should really save your kicker pick for one of the last two rounds. If you're the type to draft a backup kicker, then I don't know what to say for you, other than "Thank you for being in my league, you moron". No one should ever have two kickers on their roster before the first week of the year. I may argue that you should never have two kickers ever, but some kickers on high volume scoring teams may be worth holding onto.
2. Promising rookie over aging veteran - As the late rounds of a league approach, you'll see people scrambling through their draft magazines or scanning their computers, looking for all the information they can gather on a couple of guys they are targeting. If you ask me (and of course you're asking me, since you're reading this crappy list), I'll almost always choose a promising rookie (or young guy with upside) over a veteran whose stats are fairly predictable. The thing with a promising rookie that works in your favor is that there really is no known ceiling for them, whereas guys who have been in the league 10 years who maxed out at about 1000 yards many years ago have a very limited ceiling when it comes to point production. Give me the rookie in those late rounds. In fantasy football, the unknown is the way to go.
1. Know your league settings - Does your league give you points for every reception (and how much?) Does your league give bonuses for certain levels of performance, like 300+ yards passing or 150+ yards rushing? Knowing these settings can go a long way in determining your draft strategy. If for some reason you're in a league that de-emphasizes passing touchdowns, you may be less likely to draft Drew Brees or Tom Brady with your first pick and instead go for a wide receiver. Before you draft, make sure you know how the point system works so you don't end up drafting a position that ends up being less valuable based on league settings.
No, the problem isn't that I'm currently in six fantasy leagues (four of which are for money). No. The fantasy football problem is that I'm not the defending champion in any of them. Granted, two of the leagues are new. But still - it's my fault for not winning them before being in the leagues or before they were actually created.
Anywho, since I'm in leagues with many of you, I'll give you my thoughts on how I approach these leagues. Perhaps they will help you, or perhaps they will turn you into a (bigger) loser. I can't tell you who to pick, or even any of my sleepers. Perhaps if Yahoo or NFL.com paid me to give a fantasy opinion, I would. But since neither of them do, all I can give you is my approach to each draft.
7. Don't over-study - There's numerous sites that offer their fantasy football opinions. Some opinions cancel each other out. Other opinions are based on group-think ("hey, this publication says this guy is gonna be a rising star, better have him ranked high). The truth is, a lot of it is guess work. You can study stats, fantasy magazines and rankings all day long, but all of the information you consume could overwhelm you - if you're studying up on these players too hard. Just use your best judgment when it comes to players and their situations. It doesn't hurt to do a mock draft or two, but you probably don't need to do 9 or 10 of them.
6. Don't stress about bye weeks - That's not to say it should be completely ignored, but if you're the type to draft a guy based solely on his bye week (say a backup QB for your Brady or Rodgers), you're going about it wrong. Think about how much turnover you have from the time you draft until the very end of the season. Odds are, about half of your team will be different. No use in picking a guy because he's not on Bye Week 8 when your top guy is playing when you're likely to drop the guy anyways for an emerging free agent.
5. Handcuffed RBs: a dying breed - For those of you who have been in leagues for a while, you have probably heard of the idea that you need to make sure you draft the backup running back of your star RB (i.e. a handcuff). If you're still practicing this trend, you should probably stop (unless you have one of the handful of guys who have a well-known talented backup). The investment in these guys isn't worth a high pick, although perhaps one of your last two or three picks could be spent on them. I wouldn't reach for many of the backups though strictly because you own a starter.
4. Look at Team Schedules for Fantasy Playoffs - Are you stuck between two players - and do you believe you have a legitimate shot at making the fantasy playoffs? If you need a tie-breaker between two guys in the mid-to-late rounds, take a look at each team's opponents for when the fantasy playoffs would be. If your assessment of your team being playoff-worthy is correct, then you can capitalize on the matchups that will take place during the playoffs. Granted, you can't always project how certain teams will do (last year, over half of the league had a shift in wins of 3 or more). But if you have a general idea of how a team will do, then you may have a leg up when the fantasy playoffs roll around and you have great matchups ahead of you.3. Kicker in the Last Rounds - Unless you're in a league that heavily emphasizes kickers (and if you are, you probably shouldn't be in the league), then you should really save your kicker pick for one of the last two rounds. If you're the type to draft a backup kicker, then I don't know what to say for you, other than "Thank you for being in my league, you moron". No one should ever have two kickers on their roster before the first week of the year. I may argue that you should never have two kickers ever, but some kickers on high volume scoring teams may be worth holding onto.
2. Promising rookie over aging veteran - As the late rounds of a league approach, you'll see people scrambling through their draft magazines or scanning their computers, looking for all the information they can gather on a couple of guys they are targeting. If you ask me (and of course you're asking me, since you're reading this crappy list), I'll almost always choose a promising rookie (or young guy with upside) over a veteran whose stats are fairly predictable. The thing with a promising rookie that works in your favor is that there really is no known ceiling for them, whereas guys who have been in the league 10 years who maxed out at about 1000 yards many years ago have a very limited ceiling when it comes to point production. Give me the rookie in those late rounds. In fantasy football, the unknown is the way to go.
1. Know your league settings - Does your league give you points for every reception (and how much?) Does your league give bonuses for certain levels of performance, like 300+ yards passing or 150+ yards rushing? Knowing these settings can go a long way in determining your draft strategy. If for some reason you're in a league that de-emphasizes passing touchdowns, you may be less likely to draft Drew Brees or Tom Brady with your first pick and instead go for a wide receiver. Before you draft, make sure you know how the point system works so you don't end up drafting a position that ends up being less valuable based on league settings.
8/13/2012
B List - A Reflection of "The Road Trip", 10 years later (List 13)
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| Some of the ticket stubs from "The Road Trip" |
Three skinny dudes.
12 baseball stadiums.
Two countries.
$1200 hard earned dollars pushing carts and bagging old people's groceries spent.
Enough numbers and sentence fragments for ya? Hopefully it should be. My trip with two gentlemen - we'll call them "Kudla" and "Luzzo" - was no doubt one of those life stories that I'll always be able to tell. From the early moments of walking through Detroit at night back to our car parked miles away (thanks "Kudla") to "Luzzo" doing all he could to chase down the Philly Phanatic and everything else, they are memories that will never sour in my mind.
Sure, there's probably a few stories here and there that I forgot that the other two might remember. I have a tendency to remember the strangest things, like being able to recall what "Kudla"'s idle status used to be on AIM when hearing the Aerosmith lyric, "Get up and go. Must have got up and went.", while forgetting the things I should have always remembered.
Instead, I'll compile a list of 7 moments that I can recall (without looking at my journal of the trip) that stick out as the moments of the trip.
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| Ticket stub that Kenny Lofton signed for me. |
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| The balls we caught in batting practice in Pittsburgh. Kudla had to buy his baseball. |
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| One of many mascots that Luzzo |
4. First Legal Beer - The third game of our trip brought us to my first out-of-country experience, unless you'd like to refer to Canada as America, Jr. or America's Hat. And as any 19-year old who just started drinking a few beers at college would know, Canada allows kids that age to enjoy a cold alcoholic beverage. I can always say that my first ever "legal" beer was a Molson at the Skydome in Toronto. I don't remember what it tasted like, but I'm pretty sure it tasted like crap. Showing my "Under 21" American ID to get a beer empowered me for once. We saw Chris Carpenter as a Blue Jay throw a gem against the Red Sox, but that's not what I remember the game for - it was my first beers. Our ride across the country to Montreal, I believe I was passed out in the back seat of the van (or as drunk people call it, time travelling), all screwed up from the 5 (yes, only 5) beers that I had that day. Which brings me to my next story....
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| The road trippers at what used to be a MLB stadium in Montreal |
Sure enough, the room had mirrors through the room (on basically every wall, including the ceiling), although based on a quick Google search of ratings for the hotel, we apparently missed the chance to have a room with a stripper pole. Damn you, Hotel Le Rivage. Anywho, aside from all the mirrors that none of us (that I know of) took full advantage of, one of the best part of the room was the sticker on the TV that told us what channel the porn was on. And since it was in the morning that I noticed this, it inspired me to come up with the term "Porn in the Morn". It got a good laugh then, and I thought it may have to do with us being so young. Nope - it had to do with us being guys, because I still find it to be a great term.
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| Luckily, this was as close as we were to being mauled in Detroit. |
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| One of the last times we smiled together between Cleveland & Buffalo |
As with almost any and all road trips, it's the unscripted, unplanned moments that always end up topping our memory banks once the trip is done. And this trip was no exception.
I'm glad we did this road trip, because not only was it a once-in-a-lifetime experience that we all knew at the time was once-in-a-lifetime (whether we admitted it or not was another story). The best part of the trip was that it created a lifetime bond for three guys, who at the time had barely known each other for more than a year or two.
8/04/2012
B List: We Need Fat Guys in the Olympics (List 12)
We're a week into the 2012 Summer Olympics, and I've enjoyed some of the action that's gone on so far. One of my favorite parts of the Games is watching how certain athletes react to getting silver and bronze medals - the less excited they are, the more likely they had astronomical expectations placed on them to win gold. I honestly think you should be able to appreciate any medal that you get, but then again, I'm not the one dedicating my life to these sports in hopes of winning a gold medal.
On a lighter, more comical note, I wonder if I'm the only one watching the Olympics and wondering what it would be like to watch fat guys do some of these events. Could you imagine a guy like Chris Farley doing parallel bars or trying to run the 100 meter dash?
Here's my list (a day late) of the Olympic sports I'd like to see fat guys compete in, a Fat Olympics if you will:
Disclaimer: I consider myself a fat guy, so it's okay for me to make fun of my own. In many of these sports below, I picture myself in these sports and just laugh.
7. Table Tennis - With the small size of the table, ball and paddle, you can't tell me that wouldn't be fun to watch. I keep thinking of the scene in Forrest Gump when he goes to China to play and how fast the game played. A game that plays fast with small equipment, how could you not be entertained by this? I am all for watching chubby folks battle it out on the table.
6. Canoe/Kayak Slalom - I'd like this event if only to say the line "Fat Guy, Little Boat". I hope Tommy Boy fans can appreciate that one. If you've never seen canoe/kayak slalom, it's basically trying to canoe through rapids, except it's a controlled environment. They have so many designated stations to maneuver in and out of, with penalties assessed if you don't go through the stations the right way. The skinny folks who compete in the events look like they could have a tough time squeezing into the kayak. I may be just as amused trying to watch someone like myself getting into the kayak as I would be watching myself desperately trying not to tip over into the rapids throughout the course, which takes Olympic folks about 100 seconds to complete but could take us big boned people a little longer.
5. Synchronized Diving - Imagine the years and years of training that two people have to do together to coordinate their Olympic-style dives. Same body type, using the same form as they jump at the same time from dozens of feet above the water. Now imagine that these two people are heavier - fat people that have to coordinate their body types and make the same exact dives in hopes of winning the Olympic gold. As you can see based on the picture on the right, it's hard enough trying to coordinate the same look as you ride motorcycles together (although it does help to be twins). Imagine the diving version of this - two fat guys in swimming suits, doing the same twists, turns and flips as they descend in the Olympic-size pool that has no idea the hurting it is in for.
4. Beach Volleyball - Many of us have been to the beach where we see people who are just a little too proud of their body types. I am all for self-confidence in your body no matter its appearance, but beaches were not made for equal clothing rights. That's why beach volleyball would be a great sport to watch fat guys compete in. Think of the fattest guy you've ever seen without his shirt on. Now imagine him competing in the Olympics, attempting to use their two-inch vertical jump to spike a ball through the hands of an opponent who is hypnotized by the lava lamp movement of the spiker's "6 pack". That would be pure gold, and yes, that was a terrible Olympic pun.
3. Pole Vault - A pole that is meant to bend: meet a fat guy who bends just about every piece of silverware he uses. In the Olympics, the world record for the pole vault is over 6 meters (which is roughly 18 feet). Imagine a fat guy taking a running approach with this fiberglass pole and trying to launch himself over a pole that high. It's hard enough just imagining a fat guy running. More so than an actual track and field race, I'd prefer to see fat guys do the pole vault out of all track and field events. To see the stress that the pole would be under during this process would be worth the price of admission. To see the pole break would be even more amazing.
2. Trampoline - I wonder how many of you even knew that trampoline was a sport in the Olympics. If I need to go in depth on why this is funny, then I don't have the friends that I thought I had. Much like the pole in the pole vault, I would be intrigued at how well the Olympic-sized trampoline would hold fat guys trying to do acrobatics. If it's anything resembling this guy trying to dunk a basketball on a trampoline, then I may have to launch this to the top of the list of potential Fat Guy Olympic events.
1. Gymnastics - This sport would have all of the elements that we'd love to see together when it comes to fat guys and Olympic events - Tight clothes, balance beams and uneven bars, all trying to survive the stress of the fat guys who will be wearing them, trying to stand on without breaking, and attempting to swing back and forth between.
I apologize to anyone who can't find the humor in this list. But it's a proven fact - fat equals funny. And I believe the Fat Olympics would be a great concept that would warm the hearts of Americans, whose clogged arteries from the decades of Big Mac and Whopper consumption could one day dream of competing in the many events that the Fat Olympics would have to offer. Plus, you know the medal winners would smell the medals in the slightest hope that they were made out of chocolate.
On a lighter, more comical note, I wonder if I'm the only one watching the Olympics and wondering what it would be like to watch fat guys do some of these events. Could you imagine a guy like Chris Farley doing parallel bars or trying to run the 100 meter dash?
Here's my list (a day late) of the Olympic sports I'd like to see fat guys compete in, a Fat Olympics if you will:
Disclaimer: I consider myself a fat guy, so it's okay for me to make fun of my own. In many of these sports below, I picture myself in these sports and just laugh.
6. Canoe/Kayak Slalom - I'd like this event if only to say the line "Fat Guy, Little Boat". I hope Tommy Boy fans can appreciate that one. If you've never seen canoe/kayak slalom, it's basically trying to canoe through rapids, except it's a controlled environment. They have so many designated stations to maneuver in and out of, with penalties assessed if you don't go through the stations the right way. The skinny folks who compete in the events look like they could have a tough time squeezing into the kayak. I may be just as amused trying to watch someone like myself getting into the kayak as I would be watching myself desperately trying not to tip over into the rapids throughout the course, which takes Olympic folks about 100 seconds to complete but could take us big boned people a little longer.5. Synchronized Diving - Imagine the years and years of training that two people have to do together to coordinate their Olympic-style dives. Same body type, using the same form as they jump at the same time from dozens of feet above the water. Now imagine that these two people are heavier - fat people that have to coordinate their body types and make the same exact dives in hopes of winning the Olympic gold. As you can see based on the picture on the right, it's hard enough trying to coordinate the same look as you ride motorcycles together (although it does help to be twins). Imagine the diving version of this - two fat guys in swimming suits, doing the same twists, turns and flips as they descend in the Olympic-size pool that has no idea the hurting it is in for.
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| Imagine an Olympic sport with THIS GUY as an "athlete" |
4. Beach Volleyball - Many of us have been to the beach where we see people who are just a little too proud of their body types. I am all for self-confidence in your body no matter its appearance, but beaches were not made for equal clothing rights. That's why beach volleyball would be a great sport to watch fat guys compete in. Think of the fattest guy you've ever seen without his shirt on. Now imagine him competing in the Olympics, attempting to use their two-inch vertical jump to spike a ball through the hands of an opponent who is hypnotized by the lava lamp movement of the spiker's "6 pack". That would be pure gold, and yes, that was a terrible Olympic pun.
3. Pole Vault - A pole that is meant to bend: meet a fat guy who bends just about every piece of silverware he uses. In the Olympics, the world record for the pole vault is over 6 meters (which is roughly 18 feet). Imagine a fat guy taking a running approach with this fiberglass pole and trying to launch himself over a pole that high. It's hard enough just imagining a fat guy running. More so than an actual track and field race, I'd prefer to see fat guys do the pole vault out of all track and field events. To see the stress that the pole would be under during this process would be worth the price of admission. To see the pole break would be even more amazing.
2. Trampoline - I wonder how many of you even knew that trampoline was a sport in the Olympics. If I need to go in depth on why this is funny, then I don't have the friends that I thought I had. Much like the pole in the pole vault, I would be intrigued at how well the Olympic-sized trampoline would hold fat guys trying to do acrobatics. If it's anything resembling this guy trying to dunk a basketball on a trampoline, then I may have to launch this to the top of the list of potential Fat Guy Olympic events.
1. Gymnastics - This sport would have all of the elements that we'd love to see together when it comes to fat guys and Olympic events - Tight clothes, balance beams and uneven bars, all trying to survive the stress of the fat guys who will be wearing them, trying to stand on without breaking, and attempting to swing back and forth between.
I apologize to anyone who can't find the humor in this list. But it's a proven fact - fat equals funny. And I believe the Fat Olympics would be a great concept that would warm the hearts of Americans, whose clogged arteries from the decades of Big Mac and Whopper consumption could one day dream of competing in the many events that the Fat Olympics would have to offer. Plus, you know the medal winners would smell the medals in the slightest hope that they were made out of chocolate.
7/27/2012
B List - Worst Jobs to Post on Your LinkedIn Profile (List 11)
As many of you know, LinkedIn is quite the popular site for people looking to network. People's resumes become visible in a way never seen before. While using the site this week for work purposes, I thought to myself, "What would be the worst jobs to say you worked in hopes of advancing to a bigger and better job?"
Here's seven jobs that people may want to consider deleting from their profiles should they have had the un-fortune of working in that role.
7. Storyboard editor for Saved by the Bell - Have you ever seen the story arcs on this show? If you have, you'd be the first person to discover them. Just off the top of my head, here are some of the most ridiculous ones (which is saying a lot):
- Jessie's brother from New York comes to visit, is originally despised by the crew, including his love interest Lisa. Then basically says, "You know what, I like it here. I think I'll stay." He never appears on another episode.
- Similar situation with Screech's only reciprocated love interest - Violet. The one girl he could possibly score with at Bayside, and they have her on for about one or two episodes? No wonder why Dustin Diamond hates everyone he worked with there.
- A clips episode that shows Zack reflecting on all the great times he had at Malibu Sands over the summer. Of course, Slater is the one (of all Bayside students) to go get Zack to come back to school, only to relax and reminisce about the summer as well. Unless I am completely naive to how the school system works, I'm just guessing that a principal would just let one of his students just leave the school to go retrieve someone who he knows is skipping class. Everyone knows the Ferris Bueller way is how it's done.
- And Tori - yeah. Shows up out of nowhere to replace Kelly and Jesse, whose disappearance is not explained whatsoever. That's not even the most believable part. Do you really think that Zack would go for a biker chick?
These are only a few of the ridiculous story arcs. I won't even go into the College Years, the standout moment being when Slater learns that he is Chicano from a girl who he never met before, then gets mad at Zack later in the episode for being ignorant of his Chicano culture.
If you have this on your resume, you may want to take it off.
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| Not sure where this fits into the blog, but this is perhaps one of the best graphs ever made. |
6. Musician for Saved by the Bell - Just because the tune and lyrics are easy to get into your head doesn't mean it's a good song. If you need any proof of that, look at just about every #1 Summer song of the past 100 years. I don't know much about music and how to create it, yet I could say that I know more than whoever designed any piece of music associated with this show.
5. Extra on Saved by the Bell (especially the nerd characters) - I always felt sorry for the extras who had to sit in the background of every bullshit scene involving Zack trying to exploit them and his fellow classmates in some way. The nerds had it the worst. They were the stereotypical glasses-wearing, pocket-protector, never-getting laid nerds who got picked on. I still don't know how Screech would fit into that social circle - no way in real life does a social circle, especially in high school, contain a nerd as nerdy as Screech hanging out with jocks and popular kids. I digress.
As I stated, these extras were forced to go to every single social function that Zack and the gang would go to, from the movie theater to the Max and everything in between. I can't say I've ever seen any of those background actors doing anything since then - perhaps The Bell was a career killer in itself before there was ever a LinkedIn.
| One of many uses for Bayside's only classroom |
4. Prop designer for Saved by the Bell - Anyone ever find it funny that the classroom that the kids learn in, with normal school desks, is the same classroom that is used for the woodshop class. By golly, it's also where the kids take their drivers ed classes and get to drive a golf cart in order to get their licenses. And the school hallways? Not just for lockers - it's also used for Army-style obstacle courses, locker-type garage sales to help Lisa pay off debt, and also for many Zack Morris "get rich quick" schemes, among many non-traditional school hallway activities.
Couldn't they have built different rooms for these activities to make it just slightly more believable? Perhaps the budget was tight. Yeah, I'm sure that's it.
3. Video Editor for Saved by the Bell - I shouldn't put this so high, especially since they didn't have much to work with in terms of credible story lines and great acting. But you know the editor has to get some flack. After all, he was the one who rendered all the videos, making sure they can be edited in a "made for TV" format. If he or she wanted, a video of better produced shows, like any Bob Saget America's Funniest Home Videos could have been edited into the story line. Sadly, I don't think any Saved by the Bell story lines would have been ruined with random videos of people getting kicked in the nuts or falling off of a boat into a lake. In fact, I think they could have made the stories make more sense.
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| None of these actors stood a chance of getting future jobs. |
2. Actor not named Mario Lopez or Mark-Paul Gosselaar from....you guessed it, Saved by the Bell - Quick: Name three shows or movies that featured any of the Saved by the Bell cast outside of the SBTB shows and movies. I'll even spot you Showgirls for Elizabeth Berkley and Beverly Hills 90210 featuring Tiffani Amber Thiessen. Give up? Yeah - they've been that bad (or perhaps that typecast). Chances are, if your name is not any of the gentlemen mentioned above, you're probably cleaning gutters or picking up trash for a living at this point (I apologize to all my gutter cleaning and garbageman/women friends of mine for comparing you to SBTB characters). Maybe it has something to do with the childhood actor syndrome of not being able to live a normal life once you've peaked at a young age. Or perhaps it has something to do with them just completely sucking as actors and being lucky to coast on the SBTB wave as long as they did.
 |
| Yikes - looks like someone got ran over by a truck. And then by another truck |
BTW, have you seen pictures of Lisa (aka Lark Voorhies) recently? I don't think Screech would have been pursuing her if he would have known she was going to look like this. Geesh.
 |
| At least he has cool facial hair. |
1. Dustin Diamond - Speaking of Screech, he is his own category of "Worst Jobs" for the purposes of this list. Out of all the stereotypes that were exploited on the show, none was worse than the character of Screech, the typical high school nerd that lacks social skills, has no chance with the ladies, especially the only one who he is courting, and who was constantly picked on by his friends, yet still considered them his friends because....uhm, they'd talk to him? I can't think of what he brought to the table as far as being a friend goes or why those others considered Screech a friend.
Can you think of any actor that was typecast or could be typecast as bad as Dustin Diamond was? He had little-to-no shot of ever succeeding after SBTB series were done. He even knew this himself, as he was the only cast member to stay with the series beyond the college series, becoming Mr. Belding's sidekick in the new classes of the show.
His post SBTB resume includes a porn he released creatively called Screeched (if anyone has seen this, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me how bad it was) and also as an author of the book Behind the Bell, in which Diamond reveals all of the sex and drugs that went on behind the scenes of the show. I'm positive everything he said in the book is true, because when he wrote the book, he definitely wasn't hurting for money or looking for attention. Oh wait, nevermind.
Anywho, if your LinkedIn profile features "Dustin Diamond" for some reason as a job, you may want to consider removing it from your profile. Lord knows you won't be getting a job anytime soon anyways.
I guarantee you that if you follow this list, you will get a job and not be employed for long*
*No such guarantees can be made. I cannot be held liable for your shitty resume, interviewing skills, bad breath and excessive sweating while interviewing.
7/20/2012
B List - 10 Months (List 10)
I swear I didn't plan my 10th list to have this title, but it has this name for a reason. Today is the 10 month mark in me and Jen's relationship. Everything is going great so far. We're both still very happy together, and our new living arrangement has been a success.
I figured I'd highlight 10 days (1 day in each month) of our relationship, without getting too sappy and make people want to vomit. I'll just go chronologically:
1. September 20, 2011 - Of course, I have to highlight this date. I've written about it before, but there's a few random things I forgot if I mentioned before: (a) We went to DMK, a burger joint that Jen said she never would have suggested if she knew how picky I was. (b) I remember making a comment about someone holding the door open for us, saying (in a joking way) that I wish I would have been able to do it since she talked up chivalry in her dating profile. (c) Watching the movie Bridesmaids was probably the only time I've ever enjoyed a "chick flick" and would actually want to watch it again (although we haven't).
2. October 1, 2011 - This being one of the sadder days of my life, it felt good having someone I could talk to and comfort me. This was the day that my family and I put our dog Buddy down. I still occasionally look at the blog I wrote in his honor the day he died and get teary-eyed. The day was made easier when I went to go hang out with her downtown and meet some of her friends for the first time. Not exactly the best day to meet people for the first time with all the emotions going through my mind. But I'm glad I did go downtown that day - it helped me get my mind off of the sadness encountered earlier in the day and it was the first time I got to meet some of Jen's great friends.
3. November 11, 2011 - She's gonna hate that I forgot the name of the Cajun restaurant we went to on her birthday, but I enjoyed the steak that I ate and I was very happy that she was able to eat some food that we don't normally go out for - given my very particular food tastes. It was the first in a weekend of birthday stuff for her weekend, including going to see a comedy show and capped off by a Bears game.
4. December 23, 2011 - The day before we were supposed to go to over to her Mom's for Christmas stuff, we hung out and decided that we would start our own Christmas tradition of opening one gift on the 23rd - our own Festivus tradition. I had her open my gift of elephant figurines that I bought for her and knew she would like. I received a "Bazinga!" t-shirt that I proudly wear around to this day. It was a great start to the Christmas season.
5. January 1, 2012 - It was the first New Year's in a while that I had a date to kiss, so I definitely enjoyed that part of it. I am glad that she was open to going to my friend's party for the new year, especially a party where she only knew a few people. And best yet - she was willing to be the designated driver! What a sweetheart. But the best part of the night was going to White Castle to ring in the new year. Now that's true romance.
6. February 14, 2012 - Like the previous occasion, I hadn't had a Valentine on the Hallmark holiday in a while. And yes, while I was single, I shunned the holiday and didn't think much of it. I didn't do anything over-the-top Hollywood on this day - just bought her a huge teddy bear and some flowers. She made me a delicious dinner. We stayed in and watched TV - my idea of romance.
7. March 31, 2012 - We went over to Jen's aunt and uncle's in Princeton, IL and I agreed to play the role of the Easter Bunny for Jen's cousin's kid. I had a blast, as you can see based on this picture. Easter was over a week away, but the family wanted to celebrate it a week early. It was yet another great time had in the presence of her family. I make a sexy bunny. Paging Hugh Hefner.
8. April 7, 2012 - We signed our lives away for a year...the official day of me and Jen signing off on our current place. One of the most expensive decisions I've ever made - but also one of the best. No regrets on that front.
9. May 31, 2012 - Crazy day of moving Jen and myself out of our respective places. See all the boxes piled in the moving truck and my dad's van made me realize that we were taking our relationship to the next level - moving in together. It is hard to believe that it took me so long to move out, but I believe I was always looking for the right situation. Apparently the right situation took 25+ years of living in the parent's place.
10. June 18, 2012 - Let's be honest - it didn't become our place until the first grilling session. It was the first meal I was able to cook for us - and funny, neither of us remember whether it was brats or hamburgers. Either way it was delicious meat. Along with a beer in hand, who could ask for a better scenario?
As you can see, there's been plenty of days over the months that have been awesome at the same time. And many more to look forward to.
And to those who notice this list is 3 items longer than normal - you're right. I bent the rule on this one. So sue me.
I figured I'd highlight 10 days (1 day in each month) of our relationship, without getting too sappy and make people want to vomit. I'll just go chronologically:
1. September 20, 2011 - Of course, I have to highlight this date. I've written about it before, but there's a few random things I forgot if I mentioned before: (a) We went to DMK, a burger joint that Jen said she never would have suggested if she knew how picky I was. (b) I remember making a comment about someone holding the door open for us, saying (in a joking way) that I wish I would have been able to do it since she talked up chivalry in her dating profile. (c) Watching the movie Bridesmaids was probably the only time I've ever enjoyed a "chick flick" and would actually want to watch it again (although we haven't).
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| Me and the Bud Man |
3. November 11, 2011 - She's gonna hate that I forgot the name of the Cajun restaurant we went to on her birthday, but I enjoyed the steak that I ate and I was very happy that she was able to eat some food that we don't normally go out for - given my very particular food tastes. It was the first in a weekend of birthday stuff for her weekend, including going to see a comedy show and capped off by a Bears game.
4. December 23, 2011 - The day before we were supposed to go to over to her Mom's for Christmas stuff, we hung out and decided that we would start our own Christmas tradition of opening one gift on the 23rd - our own Festivus tradition. I had her open my gift of elephant figurines that I bought for her and knew she would like. I received a "Bazinga!" t-shirt that I proudly wear around to this day. It was a great start to the Christmas season.
 |
| The Bear and The Roses |
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| The Bunny & His Babe |
8. April 7, 2012 - We signed our lives away for a year...the official day of me and Jen signing off on our current place. One of the most expensive decisions I've ever made - but also one of the best. No regrets on that front.
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| The cat getting in the way of moving |
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| Grillmaster |
As you can see, there's been plenty of days over the months that have been awesome at the same time. And many more to look forward to.
And to those who notice this list is 3 items longer than normal - you're right. I bent the rule on this one. So sue me.
7/13/2012
B List - Stupidest Sports Arguments (List 9)
I still plan on writing about the new NCAA playoff format and how it's going to cause more problems than it creates.
For now, I will mention it among six other sports arguments that I consider to be among the stupidest. This will likely have a slight Chicago lean, as I have listened to many an argument about sports from friends and strangers alike.
Here's the list of arguments that I consider to be among the most pointless.
7. Tebow - There's no way to have a reasonable debate on Tim Tebow. He's such a polarizing sports figure that you may as well discuss your stance on abortion, gun rights and gay marriage and be more productive in talking. His critics (such as myself and anyone who likes their quarterbacks to be accurate and good) will never convince his fans (who love what he stands for and his ability to win close games) that he sucks, and his fans will never convince his critics that he is the greatest quarterback of all time. I'm convinced that ranking systems like NFL Networks Top 100 players (ranked him 95th best player in the league) and NFL Films (ranking him the 7th best Heisman winner in NFL history - a ranking that was to measure the career accomplishments of Heisman winners) were just to grab attention and ratings. Anyone who thinks Tebow has accomplished more in his short career (one in which he hasn't started a complete season) than Earl Campbell (8th) and Marcus Allen (9th) is smoking the kind of crack I'd like to smoke if I was into that sort of thing.
6. Comparing Michael Jordan to anyone - There are way too many times people want to compare the best players of the day to MJ. I discussed this in a blog almost two months ago with Kobe and how he and Lebron are often brought up by people who want to discuss today's players with the best of all time. No reasonable person would argue that these guys are better than MJ. Many times, this argument, at least from my observations, is usually addressed by the folks who are so hard for MJ that they can't wait to bring his name up anytime Kobe or LeBron does something good. "Kobe's good, but he's no MJ" or pictures of MJ flaunting his rings asking LeBron about his rings are just a few of the examples that pop up when people want to remind the world that MJ is the best. I don't think we need these comments/pictures posted on FB all the time to know that MJ is better than both of them. Let it go.
5. Old champs vs. new champs - Media and public folks do this a lot. How would (current champ) do against (some old great team), with most of the folks who are on the elderly side of the debate usually arguing for the latter. The most recent example of this was Kobe being asked if he thought this current collection of Olympians could beat the Dream Team in a game, with Kobe answering affirmatively. Did everyone expect Kobe to say, "No, you know what, I think we'd get killed." It's not in Kobe's DNA to admit that he can't do something, even if his heart of hearts believed that his current squad would have no chance. In one game, sure, this collection of guys may be able to win, but the Dream Team, whose player composition included all but one Hall of Famer, would likely win most matchups. But you know what? You can't possibly know what would happen because it can never happen. Therefore, these type of arguments are deemed pointless in my eyes.
4. Best running back ever - I've heard this many times argued among friends and on TV alike. There's only a few names that I would even consider being reasonable to discuss in the equation - including Jim Brown, Barry Sanders, Emmitt Smith, OJ Simpson, Earl Campbell, and of course Walter Payton. Living in Chicago, the most common debate I heard was Payton being the best, with a few of my Dallas friends arguing Emmitt's case. It may not be the worst argument in sports, but with the way I've heard it argued, it usually turns into an ugly conversation. Perhaps that's more of a reflection of my friends arguing it than the argument itself. Since I am not old enough to have seen (or remember) many of these guys play, I can only go by statistics to say who was the best. And I don't think that's fair to the debate. I've always contended that Jim Brown was the best ever. Take a look at his stats and accomplishments if you get the chance to understand why I would think this. I'd rather not get into this argument, so I'm going to stop now.
3. BCS - For most of its existence, people have denounced the BCS as a crappy way to crown a college champion. The truth is - there is no perfect way to do this. Since there are many conferences and there's no way that teams can play completely balanced schedules, there will always have to be a human element involved with deciding who should be considered for the right to be champion (or at least play for the championship). The system that preceded the BCS was straight up voting, with many seasons in NCAA history ending without the two best regular season teams facing each other based on how the Bowl system would place teams into specific Bowls. Instead, the winner was voted on in polls before the BCS. At least with the BCS, you have almost always had two of the top 2-4 teams in the nation playing for the national championship. This new 4-team playoff is going to cause more problems than it will solve and will likely become one of its own top 2-3 dumb sports arguments out there. Whenever a selection process is used to decide who will make a playoff (as this playoff will be), you will hear about at least 2-3 teams a year (if not more) who got screwed out of a chance to play.
2. NCAA Tourney snubs - Speaking of NCAA and selection committees, one of the dumbest arguments I hear on a yearly basis is the teams who were left out of the NCAA March Madness tourney. Every year, a big part of ESPN and CBS broadcasts on Selection Sunday is devoted to the teams who barely squeaked in and the teams who just missed the tourney. Cases are made for each team who didn't make it (teams who are roughly 18-12 and lost in the second round of their conference tourney) as if they were leaving out the best team in the nation. It's gotten so bad with the tourney that they've even expanded the tourney several times in our lifetimes and people still complain about the last team who didn't make it. If you can't convince people that you are not one of the best teams in the nation when you have an 18-12 record and you don't win an automatic bid, you can't complain when you leave your team's postseason fate in the hands of a committee. The screams for the last team in are bad with the NCAA tourney - imagine how bad it will be when football gets around to their 4-team playoff.
1. All Star snubs - And the grand champion for stupid debates for me is All Star snubs. And this is by far the stupidest for me. While baseball is fresh in my mind, this also applies for the other sports who host an annual All-Star game. However, the bickering over baseball All Stars is probably the loudest (and definitely the most annoying). Even with expanding rosters, you could always find an idiot who says "My guy should have made it". Yeah, he could/should have, but who cares? In some ways, I'd rather have my guy rest for 3-4 days than go to a glorified exhibition game that most fans (at least the ones I know) don't care who wins. Even with the White Sox making a run towards the postseason, I have given little thought to the fact that they would be travelling for Game 1 of the World Series if they were lucky enough to make it that far because a collection of AL players lost 8-0 the other day. The new rule of adding a World Series stipulation to the game inspired the slogan "This Time, It Counts" from Fox for the longest time, inspiring even more annoying banter among people who say their guy should have made it and been able to help their league out in what should be a meaningless All-Star game. The emotion that is wasted when one gets sad or angry about their guy being left off a roster should instead be used to cheer that player on after the All-Star break ends. At the end of the day, the All Star game is an exhibition, whether the MLB's WS stipulation tells you or not.
For now, I will mention it among six other sports arguments that I consider to be among the stupidest. This will likely have a slight Chicago lean, as I have listened to many an argument about sports from friends and strangers alike.
Here's the list of arguments that I consider to be among the most pointless.
7. Tebow - There's no way to have a reasonable debate on Tim Tebow. He's such a polarizing sports figure that you may as well discuss your stance on abortion, gun rights and gay marriage and be more productive in talking. His critics (such as myself and anyone who likes their quarterbacks to be accurate and good) will never convince his fans (who love what he stands for and his ability to win close games) that he sucks, and his fans will never convince his critics that he is the greatest quarterback of all time. I'm convinced that ranking systems like NFL Networks Top 100 players (ranked him 95th best player in the league) and NFL Films (ranking him the 7th best Heisman winner in NFL history - a ranking that was to measure the career accomplishments of Heisman winners) were just to grab attention and ratings. Anyone who thinks Tebow has accomplished more in his short career (one in which he hasn't started a complete season) than Earl Campbell (8th) and Marcus Allen (9th) is smoking the kind of crack I'd like to smoke if I was into that sort of thing.
6. Comparing Michael Jordan to anyone - There are way too many times people want to compare the best players of the day to MJ. I discussed this in a blog almost two months ago with Kobe and how he and Lebron are often brought up by people who want to discuss today's players with the best of all time. No reasonable person would argue that these guys are better than MJ. Many times, this argument, at least from my observations, is usually addressed by the folks who are so hard for MJ that they can't wait to bring his name up anytime Kobe or LeBron does something good. "Kobe's good, but he's no MJ" or pictures of MJ flaunting his rings asking LeBron about his rings are just a few of the examples that pop up when people want to remind the world that MJ is the best. I don't think we need these comments/pictures posted on FB all the time to know that MJ is better than both of them. Let it go.
5. Old champs vs. new champs - Media and public folks do this a lot. How would (current champ) do against (some old great team), with most of the folks who are on the elderly side of the debate usually arguing for the latter. The most recent example of this was Kobe being asked if he thought this current collection of Olympians could beat the Dream Team in a game, with Kobe answering affirmatively. Did everyone expect Kobe to say, "No, you know what, I think we'd get killed." It's not in Kobe's DNA to admit that he can't do something, even if his heart of hearts believed that his current squad would have no chance. In one game, sure, this collection of guys may be able to win, but the Dream Team, whose player composition included all but one Hall of Famer, would likely win most matchups. But you know what? You can't possibly know what would happen because it can never happen. Therefore, these type of arguments are deemed pointless in my eyes.
4. Best running back ever - I've heard this many times argued among friends and on TV alike. There's only a few names that I would even consider being reasonable to discuss in the equation - including Jim Brown, Barry Sanders, Emmitt Smith, OJ Simpson, Earl Campbell, and of course Walter Payton. Living in Chicago, the most common debate I heard was Payton being the best, with a few of my Dallas friends arguing Emmitt's case. It may not be the worst argument in sports, but with the way I've heard it argued, it usually turns into an ugly conversation. Perhaps that's more of a reflection of my friends arguing it than the argument itself. Since I am not old enough to have seen (or remember) many of these guys play, I can only go by statistics to say who was the best. And I don't think that's fair to the debate. I've always contended that Jim Brown was the best ever. Take a look at his stats and accomplishments if you get the chance to understand why I would think this. I'd rather not get into this argument, so I'm going to stop now.
3. BCS - For most of its existence, people have denounced the BCS as a crappy way to crown a college champion. The truth is - there is no perfect way to do this. Since there are many conferences and there's no way that teams can play completely balanced schedules, there will always have to be a human element involved with deciding who should be considered for the right to be champion (or at least play for the championship). The system that preceded the BCS was straight up voting, with many seasons in NCAA history ending without the two best regular season teams facing each other based on how the Bowl system would place teams into specific Bowls. Instead, the winner was voted on in polls before the BCS. At least with the BCS, you have almost always had two of the top 2-4 teams in the nation playing for the national championship. This new 4-team playoff is going to cause more problems than it will solve and will likely become one of its own top 2-3 dumb sports arguments out there. Whenever a selection process is used to decide who will make a playoff (as this playoff will be), you will hear about at least 2-3 teams a year (if not more) who got screwed out of a chance to play.
2. NCAA Tourney snubs - Speaking of NCAA and selection committees, one of the dumbest arguments I hear on a yearly basis is the teams who were left out of the NCAA March Madness tourney. Every year, a big part of ESPN and CBS broadcasts on Selection Sunday is devoted to the teams who barely squeaked in and the teams who just missed the tourney. Cases are made for each team who didn't make it (teams who are roughly 18-12 and lost in the second round of their conference tourney) as if they were leaving out the best team in the nation. It's gotten so bad with the tourney that they've even expanded the tourney several times in our lifetimes and people still complain about the last team who didn't make it. If you can't convince people that you are not one of the best teams in the nation when you have an 18-12 record and you don't win an automatic bid, you can't complain when you leave your team's postseason fate in the hands of a committee. The screams for the last team in are bad with the NCAA tourney - imagine how bad it will be when football gets around to their 4-team playoff.
1. All Star snubs - And the grand champion for stupid debates for me is All Star snubs. And this is by far the stupidest for me. While baseball is fresh in my mind, this also applies for the other sports who host an annual All-Star game. However, the bickering over baseball All Stars is probably the loudest (and definitely the most annoying). Even with expanding rosters, you could always find an idiot who says "My guy should have made it". Yeah, he could/should have, but who cares? In some ways, I'd rather have my guy rest for 3-4 days than go to a glorified exhibition game that most fans (at least the ones I know) don't care who wins. Even with the White Sox making a run towards the postseason, I have given little thought to the fact that they would be travelling for Game 1 of the World Series if they were lucky enough to make it that far because a collection of AL players lost 8-0 the other day. The new rule of adding a World Series stipulation to the game inspired the slogan "This Time, It Counts" from Fox for the longest time, inspiring even more annoying banter among people who say their guy should have made it and been able to help their league out in what should be a meaningless All-Star game. The emotion that is wasted when one gets sad or angry about their guy being left off a roster should instead be used to cheer that player on after the All-Star break ends. At the end of the day, the All Star game is an exhibition, whether the MLB's WS stipulation tells you or not.
7/06/2012
B List - Dos and Don'ts of Best Man Speeches (List 8)
I am on the eve of giving a speech to the best brother a man can ask for. It's a speech that I take great pride in, a speech that I want to have an impression on the people attending the wedding.
Since I have made myself contractually obligated to create a B List every Friday, I decided to look at a website that features the do's and don'ts of best man speeches. Here are 7 of the do's and don'ts that stand out and how I rate myself according to each one.
7. Do have a drink to loosen up. Don't have 10 drinks to loosen up. This shouldn't be a problem. I'll probably have a couple beers at the house here before the wedding. I definitely don't want to be slurring my words during my speech. Later on in the night, say around 11:30pm, I make no guarantees.
6. Do flatter the bride. This won't be a problem either. Amber is a great girl, especially for my brother. I already have a chunk of my speech dedicated to her.
5. Don't wing it. This is something I couldn't do. I have things I would say without the benefit of a written speech, but I'm not good enough at just coming up with an entire speech on the fly. The speech is written, with a few things in it that I could add on the fly I'm sure. But by no means could I wing it completely.
4. Don't read it from a sheet of paper. I don't think I'm going to obey this one, unless I get around to writing some of it on note cards. I've already wrote it out on a word document. I'm probably just going to disobey this one and hope I don't rely completely on the piece of paper.
3. Do Keep It Short. I don't know this guy's definition of short, but it won't take up an entire hour. I'm sure it'll take a few minutes though. And that's what she said. I won't give you the satisfaction of finishing that one...and that's what she said again.
2. Do Balance It Out. Again, I should have this covered by mentioning Amber in a chunk of my speech. I don't see how someone could give a speech that focuses solely on one person, even if you don't know either the bride or groom very well.
1. Don't Say Anything Dirty. I'm not sure if the word "Damn" is considered dirty. If it is, I may be saying something dirty. Perhaps I should browse the speech one more time to make sure I don't have anything too bad in it. I have to consider the half of the people that I don't know when giving this speech.
Nah, fuck it.
6/29/2012
Busy B - The Week Ahead (List 7)
I planned on writing about the BCS stuff that happened earlier this week and how I think the new system will be even more of a joke, but that will have to wait for another time - I will get to this at some point.
Today's list is as self-centered as it could possibly get. This is a list of my favorite 7 things coming up in the next week. I will have the next week off of work for several reasons, some of which will be discussed below. I won't go too in depth about each one because frankly, I'm lazy and kinda rushing this blog.
Note - this does not include my brother's wedding, which is in 8 days.
7. White Sox game - July 5th: Yesterday, I decided to buy Jen and myself 2nd row seats along the first base line near where the ball girl (also known at US Cellular as a security officer) sits. I've had similar seats before, so that's why this doesn't go further down the list.
6. RibFest in Naperville: I've never gone to one of these things before, so I'm glad I'm able to go this year. Jen and I are going with her brother and his fiance. I should wear a plain white shirt and record the proceedings. With how messy I am, it could be a video that goes viral.
5. Fireworks in Peru: I'm going to be catching a fireworks show at Jen's aunt and uncle's in a town in western Illinois (Peru). I say it like this because I'm not sure the average person knows much about this. It should be interesting to see if they do any better of a show than these other folks or if it lives up to my theory that most firework shows are the same (a fireworks racist, I am not). It'll be fun seeing fireworks with the g/f for the first time though.
4. Writing the Best Man Speech: I have yet to start this, although I have an idea of what I'm going to say. I need to keep my crowd in mind when writing it. Funny speeches are really hard to write, especially when you don't know half of the people.
3. Meeting Jen's Dad for the first time: I'm looking forward to meeting her old man. It's been a while coming.
2. Bachelor Party: I won't be that tool who uses the word EPIC to describe what tomorrow will be like, so anyways, tomorrow will be legend.....WAIT FOR IT.....dary. Yeah, I went there. It's not a complicated set-up: a party bus is driving us to whirlyball, then back to the casino in Joliet. With how exciting this day should be, how could this be only #2 if the wedding is not included?
1. Picking Up the Tux: Not sure why, but this action will get me in the ultimate wedding mood. Something about looking like a sexy beast in a tux does it. Also, the whole picturing myself standing next to my brother as he marries the girl of his dreams thing too.
It's going to be a great week. A great week.
Today's list is as self-centered as it could possibly get. This is a list of my favorite 7 things coming up in the next week. I will have the next week off of work for several reasons, some of which will be discussed below. I won't go too in depth about each one because frankly, I'm lazy and kinda rushing this blog.
Note - this does not include my brother's wedding, which is in 8 days.
7. White Sox game - July 5th: Yesterday, I decided to buy Jen and myself 2nd row seats along the first base line near where the ball girl (also known at US Cellular as a security officer) sits. I've had similar seats before, so that's why this doesn't go further down the list.
6. RibFest in Naperville: I've never gone to one of these things before, so I'm glad I'm able to go this year. Jen and I are going with her brother and his fiance. I should wear a plain white shirt and record the proceedings. With how messy I am, it could be a video that goes viral.
5. Fireworks in Peru: I'm going to be catching a fireworks show at Jen's aunt and uncle's in a town in western Illinois (Peru). I say it like this because I'm not sure the average person knows much about this. It should be interesting to see if they do any better of a show than these other folks or if it lives up to my theory that most firework shows are the same (a fireworks racist, I am not). It'll be fun seeing fireworks with the g/f for the first time though.
4. Writing the Best Man Speech: I have yet to start this, although I have an idea of what I'm going to say. I need to keep my crowd in mind when writing it. Funny speeches are really hard to write, especially when you don't know half of the people.
3. Meeting Jen's Dad for the first time: I'm looking forward to meeting her old man. It's been a while coming.
2. Bachelor Party: I won't be that tool who uses the word EPIC to describe what tomorrow will be like, so anyways, tomorrow will be legend.....WAIT FOR IT.....dary. Yeah, I went there. It's not a complicated set-up: a party bus is driving us to whirlyball, then back to the casino in Joliet. With how exciting this day should be, how could this be only #2 if the wedding is not included?
1. Picking Up the Tux: Not sure why, but this action will get me in the ultimate wedding mood. Something about looking like a sexy beast in a tux does it. Also, the whole picturing myself standing next to my brother as he marries the girl of his dreams thing too.
It's going to be a great week. A great week.
6/08/2012
B List: 7 Wonders of This World - The "What If" List (List 4)
If only this and this would have happened, things would have been different.
We all have wonders in our lives on what could have been if something in our lives would have changed. It doesn't mean a regret, which is something one should never have anyways, as we all need to make mistakes in life on occasion to get on the right path.
There are certain moments that you can look back on and say, if only. This list is inspired by something that just happened today, leaving the sporting community wondering "if only..."
Below is a list of 7 athletes, actors and musicians who either had their lives or careers end tragically in my lifetime, with probably more of an emphasis on athletes. I'll rank them in order based on a combination of potential cultural significance of what they could have been and their relevance in my areas of interest (i.e. sports hold more of an interest in my life than music).
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| What could have been for Oden... |
7. Greg Oden - Tabbed by many as one of the next big franchise centers for years to come, Oden has only played 82 games since being drafted #1 by the Portland Trailblazers in 2007. He didn't play in a game until a year and a half after he was drafted, and from there, he just continued to get injured. Worse for them is that Kevin Durant was drafted by the Supersonics (now the Thunder), so they'll always have their own version of "what if". Despite his lackluster stats in that 82 game sample of a career (9.4 points, 7.3 rebounds per game), anyone who watched Oden in college and before know the type of talent that he had. In the absence of hindsight, three scoring titles and at the very least, an NBA Finals appearance, there was a good reason why Oden was drafted with the first pick. For the most part of NBA history, the staple of sustained success was with having a big talented guy at center. I hope he can eventually get healthy and make a comeback of sorts. I hate watching talent go to waste.
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| He overdid everything - including drugs. |
6. Chris Farley - He'd be higher on my list if it wasn't a shock that he would end up dying in a very tragic way at an early age. Anything that Farley did, he overdid, whether it be in acting with his pratfalls or with his drinking and drug use. Farley's legacy for our generation was summed up in his appearances on Tommy Boy and Black Sheep, and the classic SNL skits such as the Chippendales auditions and Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker. I'm not sure how much more he could have done with his brand of comedy, as his range was limited to a very specific role (fat, aloof idiot who we couldn't help but love). Seeing what a similar actor in terms of lack of range (Adam Sandler) did with his "talents" over the years after a successful SNL stint, I'm sure there would have been a career full of movies for Farley had he stayed alive. However, I doubt they would have matched the appeal of his first two major roles (see: Beverly Hills Ninja).
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| Cobain hated the fame that his music created . |
5. Kurt Cobain - Like Farley, Cobain's demise was apparent to those who knew him best. Even in his lyrics, you could hear the wanting out of life that Cobain desired. In April of 1994, he shot himself dead at the age of 27 (no, it wasn't Courtney Love). I didn't get into alternative music (and music in general) until about 2-3 years after his death, so his death doesn't hit home with me as much as it might some others. I know some people who think Nirvana is overrated, and I admit that I haven't listened to them as much over the years as I did before - mainly because their library of music isn't as deep as most artists I listen to (and thus, I get sick of it quicker). However, there's no questioning the new era of music that came in with Nirvana and the album Nevermind. To many, Nirvana was music's answer to the fluffy era of rock music that preceded it, one that actually reflected the angst that many teenagers were dealing with. I don't know how much more Cobain could have done as a musician, but his early death will leave people wondering....if only. Could Nirvana have had as much staying power as Pearl Jam has? My opinion - no, only because I believe Dave Grohl already had Foo Fighters lined up before Cobain died. To think, Foo Fighters have been around since 1994 (its 19th year as a band). That's about five times longer than Nirvana lasted.
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| I'll Have Another in the Kentucky Derby |
4. I'll Have Another - In terms of a sports story, it doesn't get much sadder to see a horse miss out on a chance to win the Triple Crown because of a career-ending injury. I'll Have Another paid me a handsome sum back in May when he raced out of the 19th post as an 18/1 and took home the Kentucky Derby. He followed that victory up with another head-to-head victory over Bodemeister in the Preakness, en route to becoming the first horse since Big Brown in 2008 to win the first two legs of the Triple Crown. A swollen tendon is what will hold the horse from having a chance to be the first Triple Crown winner since 1978. If he would have won the Triple Crown, the marketability of the horse and horse racing in general would have had a short-term spike. Nevertheless, I'm sure his stud fee is through the roof, so no tears to be shed for his owners.
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| Biggie & Tupac's deaths left a hole in hip hop that will never be filled |
3. Tupac/Biggie - I know many of my friends aren't the biggest fans of hip hop music, but the deaths of these two rap legends left a hole in the hip hop industry that they have never really been able to replace. Both deaths were violent endings to Hall of Fame rappers, both of whom connected to their listeners in a rare way and brought hip hop music to new heights. It's unfortunate that these guys had to die when they did. To think that I've already lived four more years than either one of them did. I would probably have these guys up higher if I was a bigger hip-hop fan (I consider myself a fan of limited hip-hop, the small part of the genre that doesn't constantly rap about "big screen TVs, blunts, 40s and bitches"*). I wouldn't blame people having these guys as the biggest "what ifs" of our generation in terms of what could have came from their future talents. I believe they would have done more with their future talents than Cobain would have.
*A nod to the Steve Berman track on an Eminem record
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| Bias a couple days before his death |
2. Len Bias - For those of you who don't know who Len Bias is, I highly suggest you do a quick Google search and read everything about this guy's freakish athletic ability. Before Michael Jordan comparisons became the norm in the era of the 24/7 news media, Bias (from many accounts) would have been the closest thing to him in terms of his athletic prowess. According to Wiki, the Boston Celtics' famed coach Red Auerbach said he planned on drafting Bias for the Celtics for the three years before he actually declared for the draft. A few days after being drafted 2nd by the Celtics in the 1986 draft, Bias died of a drug overdose. I've heard that the 30-for-30 piece about him on ESPN (Without Bias) was well done, although I can't say I've seen it. All I know is that his death more than likely prevented the Celtics from continuing their dynasty into the early 90s (and perhaps allowed the Chicago Bulls to have a chance to secure their own dynasty with one less roadblock in the way).
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| One of the best athletes that's ever been around. |
1. Bo Jackson - With the talents that he possessed, Jackson could have been a Hall of Famer in both baseball and football. He had power and speed that the NFL had never really seen before, especially from the running back position (his Tecmo Bowl replica was probably the most devastating video game character ever). His limited NFL career had plenty of highlights, most notably the destruction of roided linebacker Brian Bosworth, who dared to talk shit to Bo. According to his Wiki profile, he is the first athlete to be named an all-star in two professional sports. His 4.12 speed in the 40m run is still the fastest recorded time at an NFL-draft combine. If he wouldn't have suffered his severe hip injury in the 1990 season, he would have had a good chance to become an all-time great running back (based on his 5.4 yards per carry in his career). In addition to his football talents, Bo also hit 20 home runs in his first four full seasons in the pros - the four years preceding his hip injury (including a career high 32 in the 1989 season). Bo was somehow able to make a comeback to baseball in 1991, signing with the White Sox. After missing the 1992 season, he came back in '93, artificial hip and all, and helped the Sox make their first postseason in 10 years in limited action. The hip injury ultimately derailed any chances Bo had of becoming Hall-of-Fame worthy in either sport. It's a shame too that much of the generation that followed me wouldn't even know who Bo Jackson is.
5/31/2012
B List - Best Value on NFL Super Bowl Futures (List 3)
We're still over 3 months away from the regular season starting, yet I can't stop thinking about it. The sport itself is enough to enjoy, but add to it the element of fantasy football and gambling, and we have a recipe for my favorite sport. While it is not the most timely of topics, it is one I cannot avoid.
Below are futures bets (odds to win the Super Bowl) that I'd consider great values at the moment. I'll eventually write an NFL preview with predictions and may not have the same opinion of the teams listed below as I do now.
Remember too, for gamblers, betting on odds to win the Super Bowl isn't always about picking the team who will win it all, but rather what team can guarantee you some profit depending on their level of advancement in the playoffs. Profit should always be the goal, so hedging against these picks in the playoffs would guarantee some money back either way.
Without further ado...
7. Kansas City - 50/1...A year removed from a division championship, the Chiefs offer great value for a team that resides in the NFL's new worst division. Last year, it felt like the entire Chiefs team got injured with ACL injuries in the first couple weeks. With a presumably healthy Jamaal Charles & Matt Cassel coming back, along with a nice complement for Charles in Peyton Hillis, I believe that the Chiefs have a great chance to win the division again. My initial thought of winning this division a few weeks ago was San Diego, but I'm not sure how much I can trust a team led by Norv Turner, who must have naked pictures on the Chargers owner for continually avoiding the chopping block.
6. St. Louis - 80/1...The Rams have a well-respected coach taking the helm this year. Like the AFC West, we're not talking about one of the toughest divisions in the NFL. If Bradford can stay healthy behind center, I expect the Rams to surpass the Vegas win total of 6 for the 2012 season by at least two games. I don't think the Rams are better or more talented than the 49ers, but even I know that the leap the Niners took from 2010 to 2011 is likely to have a regression of sorts. If that regression is in the 9-10 win range, I think the Rams could threaten for the division. Another great thing about the Rams is the tremendous amount of youth on their team - it could end up working in their favor.
5. Miami - 40/1...In the first half of 2011, the Dolphins were looking like strong contenders to be in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. Then, after an 0-7 start, something strange happened...they started winning. They closed the second half of the year with a 6-3 record, with many blowout wins in that stretch (their average margin of victory in those 6 games was about 16 points). They were even slaughtering the Patriots in a Christmas Eve tilt before Brady and company came back and stole one at home. The Dolphins may have drafted Ryan Tannehill for the future, but I believe Matt Moore's solid run down the stretch behind center deserves a second look entering the season. I could see Miami contending for a Wild Card in the AFC, with an outside shot at the AFC East crown if New England loses Brady for a significant period of time.
4. Chicago - 28/1...Last year, I liked the odds they had in the preseason as well, and their odds looked like a steal until Cutler and Forte went down in mid-November and their team, which looked like a team who could make a run in the playoffs (despite the likelihood of playing nothing but road games), went to completely crap. A 7-3 start was followed by a 1-5 stumble in the last 6 games without Cutler. This year, Cutler and Forte are back and have experienced backups (Jason Campbell and Michael Bush) that would make injuries to the starters less harmful to the season's prospects. With Brandon Marshall in the fold, Cutler has his favorite target from Denver. Their defense has hardly ever been an issue, so I expect them to be strong there again. Division champions have about a 50% turnover rate every year, so it would not shock me to see either the Bears or Lions overtake the Packers in the NFC North and have a high seed in the playoffs.
3. Carolina - 44/1...After seeing what Cam Newton did in his first year behind center, I am a big believer in his abilities and I think he will be in the elite QB discussion for the next 10 years. A blog of mine back in January pointed out that most teams who win Super Bowls have a Hall-of-Fame quality QB behind center, and while it was only his first year, I believe Newton's career arc will have him contending for Super Bowls in the near future. With the leaps that teams make from year to year, who's to say the Panthers can't go from 2-14 to 11-5/12-4 in a two-year span? Consider me one of the first on their bandwagon.
2. New Orleans - 16/1...The Saints are one of the most difficult teams to project in the NFL. The coach who led them to the Super Bowl - suspended for year. Some key defensive players - suspended for portions of the year (Vilma for the entire year). I wouldn't be surprised if the distractions of what has happened this offseason caused the Saints to dip to an 8-8 or 7-9 record. On the other hand, it wouldn't surprise me if Brees and company picked up where they left off last year and dominated their division once again. The latter thought is what makes me think that New Orleans has great value at this price. If NO were to make the playoffs in a similar fashion as last year, their odds will end up being a lot lower. And don't forget - if they do make the Super Bowl, it would be a home game, with the Superdome as host for this year's big game.
1. Detroit - 23/1...Stud QB, check. Stud WR, check. Stafford and Calvin Johnson showed what they can do together in a full season, which led Detroit to their first playoff appearance in centuries. In a passing league, having elite guys at these positions is key to making a series run at a ring. The front part of their line with Fairley & Suh is as talented as they come. The one thing I worry about with the Lions is their character issues. Fairley, Titus Young & Mikel Leshoure have all been arrested this offseason for various reasons. Leshoure missed 2011, but he could be the key in Detroit taking the next step in 2012. If the Lions could add a running attack to that passing offense, the Lions could be contending for the #1 seed in the NFC. There's still some issue with a weak secondary, but I place Detroit as the best value in terms of somewhat long-shots because I believe their ceiling is the highest of these teams. It'd be a risky 23/1, but one that could pay itself off in a big way.
Below are futures bets (odds to win the Super Bowl) that I'd consider great values at the moment. I'll eventually write an NFL preview with predictions and may not have the same opinion of the teams listed below as I do now.
Remember too, for gamblers, betting on odds to win the Super Bowl isn't always about picking the team who will win it all, but rather what team can guarantee you some profit depending on their level of advancement in the playoffs. Profit should always be the goal, so hedging against these picks in the playoffs would guarantee some money back either way.
Without further ado...
7. Kansas City - 50/1...A year removed from a division championship, the Chiefs offer great value for a team that resides in the NFL's new worst division. Last year, it felt like the entire Chiefs team got injured with ACL injuries in the first couple weeks. With a presumably healthy Jamaal Charles & Matt Cassel coming back, along with a nice complement for Charles in Peyton Hillis, I believe that the Chiefs have a great chance to win the division again. My initial thought of winning this division a few weeks ago was San Diego, but I'm not sure how much I can trust a team led by Norv Turner, who must have naked pictures on the Chargers owner for continually avoiding the chopping block.
6. St. Louis - 80/1...The Rams have a well-respected coach taking the helm this year. Like the AFC West, we're not talking about one of the toughest divisions in the NFL. If Bradford can stay healthy behind center, I expect the Rams to surpass the Vegas win total of 6 for the 2012 season by at least two games. I don't think the Rams are better or more talented than the 49ers, but even I know that the leap the Niners took from 2010 to 2011 is likely to have a regression of sorts. If that regression is in the 9-10 win range, I think the Rams could threaten for the division. Another great thing about the Rams is the tremendous amount of youth on their team - it could end up working in their favor.
5. Miami - 40/1...In the first half of 2011, the Dolphins were looking like strong contenders to be in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes. Then, after an 0-7 start, something strange happened...they started winning. They closed the second half of the year with a 6-3 record, with many blowout wins in that stretch (their average margin of victory in those 6 games was about 16 points). They were even slaughtering the Patriots in a Christmas Eve tilt before Brady and company came back and stole one at home. The Dolphins may have drafted Ryan Tannehill for the future, but I believe Matt Moore's solid run down the stretch behind center deserves a second look entering the season. I could see Miami contending for a Wild Card in the AFC, with an outside shot at the AFC East crown if New England loses Brady for a significant period of time.
4. Chicago - 28/1...Last year, I liked the odds they had in the preseason as well, and their odds looked like a steal until Cutler and Forte went down in mid-November and their team, which looked like a team who could make a run in the playoffs (despite the likelihood of playing nothing but road games), went to completely crap. A 7-3 start was followed by a 1-5 stumble in the last 6 games without Cutler. This year, Cutler and Forte are back and have experienced backups (Jason Campbell and Michael Bush) that would make injuries to the starters less harmful to the season's prospects. With Brandon Marshall in the fold, Cutler has his favorite target from Denver. Their defense has hardly ever been an issue, so I expect them to be strong there again. Division champions have about a 50% turnover rate every year, so it would not shock me to see either the Bears or Lions overtake the Packers in the NFC North and have a high seed in the playoffs.
3. Carolina - 44/1...After seeing what Cam Newton did in his first year behind center, I am a big believer in his abilities and I think he will be in the elite QB discussion for the next 10 years. A blog of mine back in January pointed out that most teams who win Super Bowls have a Hall-of-Fame quality QB behind center, and while it was only his first year, I believe Newton's career arc will have him contending for Super Bowls in the near future. With the leaps that teams make from year to year, who's to say the Panthers can't go from 2-14 to 11-5/12-4 in a two-year span? Consider me one of the first on their bandwagon.
2. New Orleans - 16/1...The Saints are one of the most difficult teams to project in the NFL. The coach who led them to the Super Bowl - suspended for year. Some key defensive players - suspended for portions of the year (Vilma for the entire year). I wouldn't be surprised if the distractions of what has happened this offseason caused the Saints to dip to an 8-8 or 7-9 record. On the other hand, it wouldn't surprise me if Brees and company picked up where they left off last year and dominated their division once again. The latter thought is what makes me think that New Orleans has great value at this price. If NO were to make the playoffs in a similar fashion as last year, their odds will end up being a lot lower. And don't forget - if they do make the Super Bowl, it would be a home game, with the Superdome as host for this year's big game.
1. Detroit - 23/1...Stud QB, check. Stud WR, check. Stafford and Calvin Johnson showed what they can do together in a full season, which led Detroit to their first playoff appearance in centuries. In a passing league, having elite guys at these positions is key to making a series run at a ring. The front part of their line with Fairley & Suh is as talented as they come. The one thing I worry about with the Lions is their character issues. Fairley, Titus Young & Mikel Leshoure have all been arrested this offseason for various reasons. Leshoure missed 2011, but he could be the key in Detroit taking the next step in 2012. If the Lions could add a running attack to that passing offense, the Lions could be contending for the #1 seed in the NFC. There's still some issue with a weak secondary, but I place Detroit as the best value in terms of somewhat long-shots because I believe their ceiling is the highest of these teams. It'd be a risky 23/1, but one that could pay itself off in a big way.
5/25/2012
B-List - Things I've Learned While Packing (List 2)
Welcome to the second edition of B-list. Last week's first list featured my top 7 favorite White Sox players of all time.
This week's list is on another timely topic. As many of you know, I'm about to move to the city with the girlfriend. I'm still in the process of packing stuff that has been collecting in my room for the past decade and a half.
The packing process has brought back some memories. In no particular order, seven random thoughts...
7. I've collected waaaaaaaay too many things. You need four or five copies of The Daily Illini from 9-12-2001 that reflect the tragedy that our nation suffered the day before? This guy had them. What about some random bent-up baseball cards from the early 90s of guys who are probably changing oil on your car? That doesn't include the stuff I still collect, like hats and beer glasses, which are all coming to the new place (as the Lady smiles).
6. Me and my friends used to be skinny. I was looking at some old pictures of y'all. Sorry to say, ladies and gentlemen, but Father & Mother time hasn't been friendly to our mid-sections. Do I blame alcohol? No. Laziness? No, not that. Decreased Metabolism? Nope. Terrible dieting habits? Uhmm....nope, not that either. Screw it, I'll just blame global warming. Increased earth temperatures caused us to balloon up 20-50 pounds. Not alcohol.
5. One Hit Wonders. I'm sure every generation of kids has a handful of albums they've bought for that one hit, only to realize that the other 11 songs are complete shit. There's a reason many of these groups did not make it beyond that one hit. Anyone looking for that Dishwalla reunion tour opening for the New Radicalz (with a 'z' cuz they're edgy and cool) might be waiting a while. Yes - I have a Dishwalla CD from the 90s, and no - I have no idea why I didn't throw that into the fireplace at some point over the years. At least I wasn't dumb enough to put them on my I-tunes playlist; otherwise, based on my new year's resolution of listening to every single song on the I-Pod, I might have to (gulp) listen to....Dishwalla. If you don't know who they are, go on YouTube and search "Counting Blue Cars" (I apologize for putting you through that 4 minutes). But please, whatever you do, don't tell me all your thoughts on God.
4. Dusty Rubbers...I'll leave that one to the imagination.
3. So much stuff, so little space. If you've ever been at the house, you'd know that my room is one of the smallest in the house. Before I moved down here in the mid 90s, the room was home to all of me, my brother and sister's toys. When shoving a bed and a dresser for clothes into the room, there's not a whole lot of square footage to navigate in the room. For this much stuff to be in the room is quite amazing. And yet, I'm still not done in there. That's more due to procrastination.
2. The Devaluation of Memories. Packing up all the trophies I received from the bowling, basketball and baseball leagues over the years, I have much different thoughts about some of those experiences now than when I experienced them back in the day. The biggest trophy in my collection was an indirect subject of my blog from yesterday - since I don't actually remember playing a single game during that baseball tournament. These participation trophies are a lot cooler when you're younger than now, when they're just reminders of your lack of playing time. It also reminds me of the three-point contest that I never got a chance to compete in during middle school since my coach gave me the wrong time for the start of the competition, and funny enough, his kid replaced me in the contest. That team participation medal that I got that day went immediately into the trash can. Fuck that guy.
Ok, I'm done venting. Seriously though, if you're ever a coach of a sports team for kids, don't be as big of a dick as that guy was.
1. I'm really gonna miss this place. That's what living in one place for 26 years (including the years at college, when this place was still technically my home) will do to a guy. Sure, don't get me wrong - I cannot wait to start my new life in a new place with a great gal. I can't wait for the new memories that are awaiting me in the future, but being the reflective guy I am, I can't help about the great times I've had at this place, save for Item 4. The toilet toss, Monday Night Raw sessions, pick-up basketball games, poker games. To leave this place behind is gonna be tough. But I'm ready to move on.
Time to create a new home in a new area. I can't wait.
Fuck that guy. Sorry, still stewing about the end of Item 2.
This week's list is on another timely topic. As many of you know, I'm about to move to the city with the girlfriend. I'm still in the process of packing stuff that has been collecting in my room for the past decade and a half.
The packing process has brought back some memories. In no particular order, seven random thoughts...
7. I've collected waaaaaaaay too many things. You need four or five copies of The Daily Illini from 9-12-2001 that reflect the tragedy that our nation suffered the day before? This guy had them. What about some random bent-up baseball cards from the early 90s of guys who are probably changing oil on your car? That doesn't include the stuff I still collect, like hats and beer glasses, which are all coming to the new place (as the Lady smiles).
6. Me and my friends used to be skinny. I was looking at some old pictures of y'all. Sorry to say, ladies and gentlemen, but Father & Mother time hasn't been friendly to our mid-sections. Do I blame alcohol? No. Laziness? No, not that. Decreased Metabolism? Nope. Terrible dieting habits? Uhmm....nope, not that either. Screw it, I'll just blame global warming. Increased earth temperatures caused us to balloon up 20-50 pounds. Not alcohol.
5. One Hit Wonders. I'm sure every generation of kids has a handful of albums they've bought for that one hit, only to realize that the other 11 songs are complete shit. There's a reason many of these groups did not make it beyond that one hit. Anyone looking for that Dishwalla reunion tour opening for the New Radicalz (with a 'z' cuz they're edgy and cool) might be waiting a while. Yes - I have a Dishwalla CD from the 90s, and no - I have no idea why I didn't throw that into the fireplace at some point over the years. At least I wasn't dumb enough to put them on my I-tunes playlist; otherwise, based on my new year's resolution of listening to every single song on the I-Pod, I might have to (gulp) listen to....Dishwalla. If you don't know who they are, go on YouTube and search "Counting Blue Cars" (I apologize for putting you through that 4 minutes). But please, whatever you do, don't tell me all your thoughts on God.
4. Dusty Rubbers...I'll leave that one to the imagination.
3. So much stuff, so little space. If you've ever been at the house, you'd know that my room is one of the smallest in the house. Before I moved down here in the mid 90s, the room was home to all of me, my brother and sister's toys. When shoving a bed and a dresser for clothes into the room, there's not a whole lot of square footage to navigate in the room. For this much stuff to be in the room is quite amazing. And yet, I'm still not done in there. That's more due to procrastination.
2. The Devaluation of Memories. Packing up all the trophies I received from the bowling, basketball and baseball leagues over the years, I have much different thoughts about some of those experiences now than when I experienced them back in the day. The biggest trophy in my collection was an indirect subject of my blog from yesterday - since I don't actually remember playing a single game during that baseball tournament. These participation trophies are a lot cooler when you're younger than now, when they're just reminders of your lack of playing time. It also reminds me of the three-point contest that I never got a chance to compete in during middle school since my coach gave me the wrong time for the start of the competition, and funny enough, his kid replaced me in the contest. That team participation medal that I got that day went immediately into the trash can. Fuck that guy.
Ok, I'm done venting. Seriously though, if you're ever a coach of a sports team for kids, don't be as big of a dick as that guy was.
1. I'm really gonna miss this place. That's what living in one place for 26 years (including the years at college, when this place was still technically my home) will do to a guy. Sure, don't get me wrong - I cannot wait to start my new life in a new place with a great gal. I can't wait for the new memories that are awaiting me in the future, but being the reflective guy I am, I can't help about the great times I've had at this place, save for Item 4. The toilet toss, Monday Night Raw sessions, pick-up basketball games, poker games. To leave this place behind is gonna be tough. But I'm ready to move on.
Time to create a new home in a new area. I can't wait.
Fuck that guy. Sorry, still stewing about the end of Item 2.
5/18/2012
B List: Favorite White Sox players (List 1)
I figured I should hit the refresh button and come up with a new theme in the blogs. The dating blogs seemed to be the last theme-based writings I did, and I'm glad I didn't have to write them for very long on account of meeting a wonderful girl in the first month of doing it.
Every Friday (give or take 7 days), I'll aim to come up with a unique list, covering random crap (but for your sake, hopefully not literally random craps). I'll try keeping them relevant to something current going on, although with the tangents I go on, I could connect my baseball hat collection to the fall of the Roman Empire in about 3-4 steps.
Without further ado, here's the inaugural list: Favorite White Sox players of my lifetime. The White Sox/Cubs series kicks off (for many) the official start of baseball season, and with many Cubs fans favorite pitcher Kerry Wood having just pitched his last game with the team, I figured - hey, a great topic.
I'll be making my Lists in 7s, mainly to be different, and 7 because of its Vegas tie-in.
Feel free to offer your own favorite Sox or own list ideas.
Missed the Cut (in no particular order): Lyle Mouton (based on name only), Bo Jackson (wasn't with team long enough), Jermaine Dye, Jim Thome (same reason as Bo, although at least he was with the Sox for a few years), Melido Perez, Ray Durham, Carlos Lee
7. Robin Ventura - Ventura was a staple of the middle part of the White Sox lineup in the 90s, amassing 171 of his 294 career home runs with the South Siders. His 10-year career with the Sox also included 741 RBIs & a .274 average. For some reason, his average season (17 HRs, 74 RBI, .274 average seems rather meh, but missed time in 1994 (player's strike) & 1997 (54 games played) skews the averages. According to baseball-reference, he also had 4 seasons with the White Sox where he finished in the top 5 of fielding percentage for AL 3rd basemen. I enjoyed watching him as a kid—you knew what you were going to get with him, year in and year out. However, he can’t be any higher than 7 for the simple reason that he picked a fight with a grandpa on a baseball field and got his ass kicked. I never said this was going to be a logical list.
6. Jack McDowell - BlackJack McDowell was the first great ace that I was able to enjoy as a kid. His three year stretch from 1991-1993 (averaged 257 IPs, ERA in the 3.30 range, combined record of 59-30) is as good of a run as we’ve seen for a South Side pitcher, culminating in a Cy Young in 1993. As a kid though, it was great to have a guy who brought a presence to the mound, where you and I and everyone else knew he was the ace just by the look of him. His trademark thinly styled sideburns with goatee was classic Black Jack. He was only with the White Sox for 7 years and never really sniffed his early career success at his other stops. His run in Chicago was memorable enough for me to crack the Top 6.
5. AJ Pierzynski - AJ is the poster boy for polarizing athletes. I don’t have poll results in front of me, but I’d venture a guess and say that about 90-95% outside of the White Sox fan base would not mind if Pierzynski was pushed out of a moving vehicle in the direction of Lake Michigan, where some of those Asian Trout can feast upon him. You get the idea. When he was with the Twins, AJ endeared himself to absolutely no one in Chicago. He was the face of our hatred for the Twins. Now, I bet you would find that most White Sox fans (myself included) appreciate his grit and win-at-all-cost attitude, usually at the expense of irritating his opponent.
Since his arrival to the White Sox in 2005, AJ has had a hand (sometimes literally) in many memorable moments (for good and bad). Take your pick: getting punched by Michael Barrett after Barrett didn’t take kindly to AJ’s method of slapping the plate (followed up by some colorful language I presume); The Drop Third Strike in the 9th inning of game 2 of the ALCS (only AJ could be involved with a controversial play of this magnitude); catching two no-hitters (including Philip Humber’s perfect game this year). While the mere mention of him annoys many non-Sox fans, one thing he has to be given credit for is his great work ethic. Dude always brings it when he’s on the field. In his 8 year career with the Sox, he has never appeared in less than 128 games (outstanding stretch of health for a catcher), netting average seasons of .280 average, 12 HR, 50 RBI. More importantly though, he’s always seemed to have a good handle on the pitching staff.
4. Ron Karkovice - Ron Karkovice’s pock face reminds many of what Neil Armstrong probably saw when he landed on the moon almost 50 years ago. I don’t have a great reason for including him this high in my favorite Sox of my lifetime outside of his paper bag-inspired face. He batted .221 for his 12-year career (all with the White Sox). He had a 5-season run in the mid 90s where he got double digit home runs every year—but then again, what player in that era DIDN’T have a run like that? He did have a great nickname (The Officer), and I remember him being serviceable enough of a catcher. Actually, I’m pretty sure he’s higher than he should be on this list solely due to his crater look.
3. Paul Konerko - If some people want to put him higher on the list, I couldn’t blame them. Like AJ, Konerko will always have his own page in White Sox history, especially with his grand slam in Game 2 of the 2005 Series. He continues to put up great numbers despite advanced age. He reached the 400 HR plateau this season for his career, 3 away from 400 in his White Sox career (would be second to hit 400 as a White Sox player – Frank Thomas). Outside of one bad year in 2003, Konerko has been a guy to count on for the better part of the past 13 years, averaging over 30 HRs/90 RBIs w/ a respectable .285 batting average (.507 career slugging percentage). The memories that don’t show up in box scores (ok, one does) that I remember are (1) his brief stint as one of Chicago’s 50 most-eligible bachelors, during which Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’” would blast through the stadium speakers as he slowly approached the plate and (2) attending a game during his crappy 2003 season where he came up to pinch-hit in extra innings down by a run, and a near-by “fan” just stormed away in disgust, figuring the game was over, as PK was well below .200 hitting at that point in the year (3 HRs in 69 games played through that point in July). Paulie connects on a dinger that extends the game another inning, with Frank Thomas ending the game on a 2-run walk off. If you want to put him 1 or 2, I don’t blame you. I put him at 3.
2.Mark Buehrle - Buehrle wasn’t just a model of consistency—he was a goddamn supermodel of consistency. His 12 year with the Sox ended when he signed with the Miami Marlins and reconnecting with Ozzie Guillen, but his decision has no bearing on where he ranks in my favorite White Sox players. From his first full season (2001) thru 2011 (11 total seasons), he reached 13 or more wins in all but 2 seasons, never straying far from an ERA in the 3.80 range with the exception of one year. He was as healthy as they came too, pitching 200+ innings in that 11 year span, never starting less than 31 games in a season. His resume is as decorated as any in White Sox lore: 2 no-hitters (including a perfect game), 3 Gold Gloves, 4 All-Star appearances. He even notched a save in the World Series. His personality always came through when he played. I remember him doing the slip-and-slide on the tarp during rain delays, before Sox management put the axe on that. There really isn’t one thing that I can complain about when it comes to him. The only group of people that could reasonably complain about him were beer vendors, who many times had less than their standard 2 hours of getting the crowd hammered thanks to Buehrle's quick efficiency on the mound. Great player, great guy. We definitely miss him on the South Side, but can’t say I blame him for taking a better deal with the Marlins. While I don’t mind that we didn’t give him a longer/more expensive deal than Miami, simply because pitchers at his age are usually not worth the time and expense, you could argue that his consistency mentioned above deserved at least a matching offer. I’ll continue to root for him until he retires.
1. Frank Thomas - Before he became famous for making his own beer*, Frank Thomas was famous for hitting baseballs often and hitting them far. He has pretty much every significant power hitting record in White Sox history while maintaining a .307 career average with the team. From 1991-1997, he batted over .300 w/ 20+ HR & 100 RBI EVERY SINGLE YEAR in that span. Consider by many a power hitter, he never led the league in home runs but does have a batting title on his resume. He had a great eye for the ball, walking over 100 times 10 times in his White Sox career. He was one of the best hitters in MLB history and definitely one of the most feared in our generation. There's times where I think we didn't appreciate what Thomas did as a player because so many people were turned off by his personality. When I judge my favorite players, I don't hold his uneasy relationship with the media against him. Rather, I remember him for what his bronze statue on the left field concourse shows - a big linebacker of a baseball player with one of the best swings we'll ever see. I don't see another like him coming around anytime soon. I really wish he could have played in the 2005 run to the title, but I am really glad he got a ring one way or another. There's no one who did more as a White Sox player as Frank Thomas did in his time with the White Sox. To the Big Hurt, this one spot is for you. Thanks for being such a dominant hitter and giving White Sox fans thrills for over 15 years.
*I'm assuming (wrongly) that someone will read this blog in 20 years after his Big Hurt Brew has entered its sixth year as the top selling beer in the world.
Every Friday (give or take 7 days), I'll aim to come up with a unique list, covering random crap (but for your sake, hopefully not literally random craps). I'll try keeping them relevant to something current going on, although with the tangents I go on, I could connect my baseball hat collection to the fall of the Roman Empire in about 3-4 steps.
Without further ado, here's the inaugural list: Favorite White Sox players of my lifetime. The White Sox/Cubs series kicks off (for many) the official start of baseball season, and with many Cubs fans favorite pitcher Kerry Wood having just pitched his last game with the team, I figured - hey, a great topic.
I'll be making my Lists in 7s, mainly to be different, and 7 because of its Vegas tie-in.
Feel free to offer your own favorite Sox or own list ideas.
Missed the Cut (in no particular order): Lyle Mouton (based on name only), Bo Jackson (wasn't with team long enough), Jermaine Dye, Jim Thome (same reason as Bo, although at least he was with the Sox for a few years), Melido Perez, Ray Durham, Carlos Lee
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| One of two pictures showing White Sox players being punched |
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| Black Jack - As good of a 3-year run as Sox fans seen from a starter |
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| What many people wish they could do to AJ |
Since his arrival to the White Sox in 2005, AJ has had a hand (sometimes literally) in many memorable moments (for good and bad). Take your pick: getting punched by Michael Barrett after Barrett didn’t take kindly to AJ’s method of slapping the plate (followed up by some colorful language I presume); The Drop Third Strike in the 9th inning of game 2 of the ALCS (only AJ could be involved with a controversial play of this magnitude); catching two no-hitters (including Philip Humber’s perfect game this year). While the mere mention of him annoys many non-Sox fans, one thing he has to be given credit for is his great work ethic. Dude always brings it when he’s on the field. In his 8 year career with the Sox, he has never appeared in less than 128 games (outstanding stretch of health for a catcher), netting average seasons of .280 average, 12 HR, 50 RBI. More importantly though, he’s always seemed to have a good handle on the pitching staff.
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| Giving hope to many ugly people who want to get laid |
3. Paul Konerko - If some people want to put him higher on the list, I couldn’t blame them. Like AJ, Konerko will always have his own page in White Sox history, especially with his grand slam in Game 2 of the 2005 Series. He continues to put up great numbers despite advanced age. He reached the 400 HR plateau this season for his career, 3 away from 400 in his White Sox career (would be second to hit 400 as a White Sox player – Frank Thomas). Outside of one bad year in 2003, Konerko has been a guy to count on for the better part of the past 13 years, averaging over 30 HRs/90 RBIs w/ a respectable .285 batting average (.507 career slugging percentage). The memories that don’t show up in box scores (ok, one does) that I remember are (1) his brief stint as one of Chicago’s 50 most-eligible bachelors, during which Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’” would blast through the stadium speakers as he slowly approached the plate and (2) attending a game during his crappy 2003 season where he came up to pinch-hit in extra innings down by a run, and a near-by “fan” just stormed away in disgust, figuring the game was over, as PK was well below .200 hitting at that point in the year (3 HRs in 69 games played through that point in July). Paulie connects on a dinger that extends the game another inning, with Frank Thomas ending the game on a 2-run walk off. If you want to put him 1 or 2, I don’t blame you. I put him at 3.
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| Big Pimpin' |
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| Mr. Perfect |
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| If there was one White Sox player larger than life, it was Thomas |
*I'm assuming (wrongly) that someone will read this blog in 20 years after his Big Hurt Brew has entered its sixth year as the top selling beer in the world.
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