Happy: The Fail-Proof Economic Stimulus Plan

Dear government (you don't deserve a "G" until you can earn us more "G"s),

I found a way to get us out of this mess. It has nothing to do with policies, nothing to do with addendums to bills that you may not like, nothing to do with politics at all.

In fact, it may be something that you may find hard to tax. But leave it to me to give you guys a chance to find something new to tax. I'm pretty sure everything in my sight has a tax to it at this point.

Sell me some happiness.

Yes, happiness.

The happier consumers are, the more they will buy. Get them to win some horse races and share stories with how awesome their new dating interest is, and watch how much more money they spend than they originally planned on.

(If you haven't figured out that this letter is written by me about me, then you should stop reading now.)

Show me a person who is happy, and I'll show you someone who is more willing to spend money on things than the average person.

Depressed people spend money only on booze.

Happy people spend money on that and then some. They don't even realize how much they spend until they look at their new credit card bill weeks later.

Consider me a potential buyer into this system.

Consider me an actual buyer. I'd show you the bill for my BBQ for tomorrow, but the receipt is too long. And that has to do with effects from happiness - from the track winnings and life in general.


If you can find a way to bundle happiness for others to buy, then I think we will be ok.

Rig a horse race or two if you have to. Whatever it takes.

Love,

Brian

P.S. Happy Father's Day to all of those good fathers out there. Bill Bolek - that especially means you.

P.P.S. Mentioning my dad in a social medium and expecting him to read it is about as pointless of a sentence as there can be read in this world.

In Your Facebook: The Pros and Cons of the #1 Social Network

This may be a blog I add more to as response to it dictates as such. I have been thinking of the pros and cons of Facebook for a while. The reading of The Facebook Effect on my Vegas flights allowed me to get more perspective on the topic.

Pros:

Contact with old friends that you actually care about

This is the the best part of Facebook. For the people we are already close to, Facebook is an extension of the friendship where people can see ridiculous posts made for liking and humor purposes.

However, there are some people you lost contact with that you actually give a crap about. You will usually find out about these people within a month or two of being "Facebook friends". You will usually have a good idea on who these people are the minute you get their friend invite or when you send it yourself.

While some high school people befriend you simply to build their "friend" list to say, "Hey Mel, I got 987 friends, you only got 684, so suck it, beotch!", there are others who were actually your friend at some point and just lost touch with as college, work, etc. got in the way.

Random check-ins

The random check-ins are my new favorite thing. The mobile app allows you to check into a place based on where your phone's GPS is. It gives you the liberty of checking into a place that is anywhere within a mile of your current location.

I love the confusion that this has caused with people who have taken the check-ins seriously. For example, I checked into a tanning place when I was at a bar around 12:30am on a Friday night. My brother was wondering to his fiance what the hell changed with me.

As you can see, the humor for this is limitless, as long as you go to different places.

Sharing humor

People have realized the limitlessness of my humor through Facebook. While I remain humble on the subject, I can't help but agree. I believe people's true personalities are shared through their statuses in the long run of posting. We will all have our ups and downs in life, but what people share with the world in general is the type of person they are. Any time I can make people laugh or someone can make me laugh, I feel like Facebook has accomplished something good.


Cons:

Detail Ad Nauseum

I don't need to know every single detail about what you are doing. You're brushing your teeth? Fantastic - your dentist should be happy.

Your mom cooked you spaghetti? Yippee! Glad to hear you won't starve to death. Actually, I take that back.

Not to say I'm not guilty of pointless statuses. But when you're doing things you should be doing already, I don't need to hear about them.

Fake Enthusiasm

I know this is a prevalent thing. I'll post a status about something (for example, I haven't been this happy in forever). And while I believe that most people who respond to this (and those who don't) are genuinely happy, some people "like" the status without giving 2 thoughts to it.

This also goes to "Happy Birthdays" from people you never speak to or that really wouldn't make an effort to actually go out for a birthday drink (or for some other occasion). While it seems polite to wish someone a happy birthday, if you're saying it because you think I want to hear it, then you are mistaken. Honestly, I'd rather hear it in person or through a call. This more applies to the fringe friends. My family and close friends, I know actually care to say those words to me - regardless of whether I hang out with them on my birthday. I'm guilty of saying Happy Birthday to people that I never see, but for the most part, I try saying it to people that I am in a position to say Happy Birthday to.

Odds are, if you are reading this blog, these things don't apply to you. We probably at least have a shot of hanging out at some point in our lives, whether it be in the next month or the next year.

Also, I'm sure I do the pointless posts as much as the next guy, so no need to call me a hypocrit. I am well-aware of it. I think we all do it from time to time. But it's the people who do it all the time that are who I am referring to here.

I'm sure there's more to this, and I'm sure I'll add more to it. Please add your own "likes" and "unlikes" about Facebook. I wrote this up quickly to get something out there and wanted to touch on my main points of happiness/disgust.

Good night folks.

And also, I'm no longer single. You better "like" that, if you're my "real" friend.

Missed Cuban Crisis: What could have been for the Cubs

Cubs fans can only dream of Cuban owning and leading their team to the promised land.

this will sound weird. Im laying in bed. with the trophy next me.#dreamcometrue.

    This was a tweet posted by Mark Cuban earlier this morning. Can't say I blame the man for enjoying his (and the Mavericks') first ever championship. His Mavericks have come a long way since he bought the team back in 2000. In the 20 years before he bought the team, the Mavs won only 40% of their regular season games, with only 1 division championship in that period of time (which was followed by a quick 3-1 first round exit in 1986). Since Cuban took over, they are now winning close to 70% of their regular season games and have made the playoffs every year in his reign - including two Finals appearances. Before this year, they had been known as a regular season team who faded come May - including a rare upset to the #8th seed Golden State Warriors in 2007.

      Around that time, the Tribune company was looking to sell the Cubs - a team that Cuban highly coveted. So much so, that Cuban was rumored to be the highest bidder for the team ($1.3 billion). However, baseball being the way it is (Selig and Reinsdorf being the guys with power), it wanted nothing to do with a younger new age owner that may look to shake up MLB's status quo. His bid was never really taken seriously even though he did enter the 2nd round of negotiations (The Ricketts family ended up with the winning bid). To say that the Ricketts' tenure of ownership  has been rocky would be an understatement, especially with this insistence for public funding to rebuild Wrigley seemingly his focus over the product he has been putting on the field. To be fair, the bad deals made were done before him. But he has done nothing to inspire the loyal fan base, a base whose faith is starting to crumble.

    I don't know how much better Cuban could have done with this roster. But I do know his track record with the Mavericks (and his other business ventures) has been nothing but successful. He would have provided hope for a franchise needing a non-traditional owner to improve its long-term chances of winning. Instead of their franchise being in the hands of such an owner, Cubs fans will have to hope that Ricketts can get his focus more on the team and less on a stadium financing deal.

     If the Cubs organization hopes to light up some victory Cuban cigars celebrating a World Series title, it will have to do so without Cuban.

     Until then, cheaper knock-offs will be smoked, and likely only in situations involving stress, not celebration.

One in the Hand is Worth Two Busch Lights

Only took 70 years, but Americans are finally embracing an element of Germany again.

Disregard every I said in the past month about LeBron and the Heat. Everything they did right against the Bulls, they did wrong against the Mavericks. They couldn't close out games. They blew a big lead in what turned out to be the difference making game (to me anyways) in Game 2.

Everyone and their mother (except me and my mother) were rooting for the Mavericks in this series.

Correction. They were rooting against the Heat. Never have I seen such hatred for a team in my memory. The 2007 Patriots were close, but this Heat team takes the cake. Not to say I blame people, because all the elements of hatred were there.

(1) The declaration of a championship in July. Actually, make that 8 championships. Not too many people are going to like you when you do that.

(2) The Decision. Even though all the money he got for that went to charity, this was what made people hate LeBron and the Heat the most. Jim Gray goes from respected journalist willing to ask tough questions to a complete tool. Lebron made people think this The Decision was a difficult one when he knew all along he was going to join his boy Wade as early as 2008.

(3) Heat over Bulls in EC Finals. This was merely the icing on the cake. People from Chicago didn't need any extra reason to root against the Heatles in the Finals. But Chicago's exit made Miami a popular hate item on the menu. See: just about every bet I made with people on the Dallas/Miami series.

An aside here, but I don't think the Heat are going to relinquish their Eastern crown any time soon.

(4) Dirk - What do fringe basketball fans like rooting for more than anything? A white guy who can shoot hoops! Ok, this wasn't really a reason. I just needed to throw in a "White Guy is Good at Basketball" reference.

There's probably more reasons, but I don't care to go into them. I just lost $190 ($135 from series bets and $55 on Miami -5) and 6 pitchers of beer. And not only that, I'm drinking a 9 month old Busch Light at the moment. The point of the story is: people here (and everywhere aside from Dallas) were watching to root against the Heat, not necessarily rooting for the Mavericks. If Dallas beats Orlando, no one here gives a rat's ass.

Turn out the Busch lights, the party's over. As the 26 real Miami Heat fans sulk in defeat, the rest of Miami (and the world) parties.

Lost (in) Vegas, part 6

A view from a walkway during Vegas dusk, 6-5-11

No shock here...I lost in Vegas. My friend Tom says he is never coming back after some pretty big losses, notably the French Open and NASCAR. Sometimes I wish I could say the same thing - that I'm not coming back here. Rarely do I even come up on a trip here. In fact, most of my trips have had a similar feel. Very awful first day, moderate 2nd day, and then a comeback on the last day.

This trip was no different. I had won my first 2 bets of the trip but then fell into a hole with my Thursday night/Friday morning bets of Miami ($330 lost in 2 bets) and Djokovic ($300). A moderate comeback started with some horse bets, increase $ in my wallet from $13 at one point to over $200. I left the sportsbook with $103 that day and was about to call it a night when my friend reminded me that I was in Vegas so I went to plop down $100 at our casino's roulette table. I decided to play the #28 and #22, and not even 2 spins in, the 28 came in. 3 spins later, #28 again. Another couple spins later, another 28. At the end of the night, up about $360. I had to thank Tom for getting me out of the room.

Saturday seemed promising after I won my first bet (five inning under of Red Sox/A's) to get up to nearly $600, but then a string of three bets flushed nearly all of that away. I tried another horse race comeback to no avail - this failed attempt occuring as the annoying Canucks fans took over the Bellagio sportsbook. As the night closed, I decided I was gonna cave on my ATM avoidance and take money out so that I could bet on Nadal the next day. However, 7-8 failed attempts at getting money out of 4 different ATMs (first trying to take out $300, then $280, then $200, then $100 several times to no avail) made this a problem. I finally tried taking out just $80, which I was able to do twice before a third time said I exceeded my daily limit. I was able to bet Nadal $120 to win $50 profit (-240, which was a shock considering Djokovic was -270 and not the player on clay that Nadal is).

Sunday, we wake up around 7 to see the end of the first set, which went to Nadal, who then took the second set.  Federer took the third set around 9:35 local time, tying up my Nadal money and preventing me from betting the early games. I guess that wasn't such a bad thing, seeing as though I had no good feels on the games. After Federoff hurried back to the Flamingo to get that money, I wagered $120 of the $170 I got back from Nadal on a first 5-inning over for the Red Sox/A's - came in the 3rd or 4th inning. Unfortunately, everything after that up until the Heat game went to crap. I was throwing hay into the wind with some of the bets I was making (five inning bet on Astros against the Padres, Carl Edwards in NASCAR finished 5th). I had to make another ATM trip and took out $80 this time. I distributed it between first half under of 94.5 ($30 to win $30), Miami to win the first quarter ($30 to win $33), and then two separate first basket of the game props in Jason Kidd (10/1 odds) and Mike Bibby (12/1). In reverse order, Bibby got the first basket (+$120-10 for Kidd = $110); Miami pulled away at the end of the quarter (+$33) and a slow down of offense in the 2nd quarter allowed the first half under to clear no problem (+$30). The $60 I got back from the first half under went completely into the Heat/Mavs 2nd half under, which was juiced heavily in favor of the over ($60 to win $72 profit). That came in no problem, but unfortunately my $100 on the Heat covering a reverse line of -3.5 didn't come in.

Monday - the horse racing tradition continued. I won my first horse racing bet and then soon another one after that. But unlike previous last day trips, profits were not in order for this adventure. Tom and I grinded out a few hours of no betting before catching a cab back to the airport, and then eventually getting back to Chicago around midnight.

Tom kept saying he didn't want to go back to Vegas, that this was gonna be his last trip. As recently as a few days ago, he's already talking about going back.

Such is the power of a gambler's life in Vegas. You may lose your cash there, but the Vegas allure remains.

Fame of the Game

Much like politics with "Follow the Money", all one needs to do is to "Follow the Hall of Famers" to see what teams have a chance to win the championship.

Besides being in an NBA Finals matchup for the 2nd time in the past 6 years, what else do the Dallas Mavericks and Miami Heat have in common? They both have at least 2 future Hall of Famers.

According to data presented by basketball-reference.com, Dwyane Wade and Lebron James (both at 99% odds) as well as Dirk Nowitzki (95%) and Jason Kidd (90%) are likely Hall of Famers based on a probability formula of who will likely be in the Hall of Fame (not who deserves to be in it). Based on this, Chris Bosh has a 53% chance of making the Hall (likely to increase if the Heat become the dynasty they expect to become).

Why mention the obvious Hall-of-Fame angle, you ask? Well, I dug up the champions that have hoisted the Larry O'Brien Championship trophy since I was born (I'm 28, do the math). And I found out some things I already knew and some that I did not.

(1) Based on current players already in the hall and the basketball-reference article, 26 of 28 teams who have won the title have had 2 Hall-of-Fame worthy players on their team, with 11 of 28 teams having at least 3 Hall of Famers. The 1993-94 Rockets (Hakeem) and 2003-04 Pistons (no hall of famers) were the exception to the rule.

(2) Based on the list I am posting below, one could argue that the only team that was led by a point guard to a title in this span was Detroit in 1989 and 1990 (by Isiah Thomas). Otherwise, most of the teams had an inside presence (center or power forward) and/or a shooting guard that were arguably the best players on their teams.

Year	Champion	Hall of Famer 1	Primary Position	Hall of Famer 2	Primary Position	Hall of Famer 3	Primary Position	Hall of Famer 4	Position	Hall of Famer 5	Position
1983	76ers	Moses Malone	Center	Julius Erving	Small Forward
1984	Celtics	Larry Bird	Forward	Kevin McHale	Forward	Robert Parrish	Center	Dennis Johnson	Guard
1985	Lakers	Kareem Abdul-Jabbar	Center	Magic Johnson	Guard	James Worthy	Forward	Bob McAdoo	Forward
1986	Celtics	Larry Bird	Forward	Kevin McHale	Forward	Robert Parrish	Center	Dennis Johnson	Guard	Bill Walton	Forward/Center
1987	Lakers	Kareem Abdul-Jabbar	Center	Magic Johnson	Forward	James Worthy	Forward
1988	Lakers	Kareem Abdul-Jabbar	Center	Magic Johnson	Forward	James Worthy	Forward
1989	Pistons	Isiah Thomas	Point Guard	Adrian Dantley	Forward	Joe Dumars	Shooting Guard	Dennis Rodman	Forward
1990	Pistons	Isiah Thomas	Point Guard	Dennis Rodman	Forward	Joe Dumars	Shooting Guard
1991	Bulls	Michael Jordan	Shooting Guard	Scottie Pippen	Small Forward
1992	Bulls	Michael Jordan	Shooting Guard	Scottie Pippen	Small Forward
1993	Bulls	Michael Jordan	Shooting Guard	Scottie Pippen	Small Forward
1994	Rockets	Hakeem Olajuwon	Center
1995	Rockets	Hakeem Olajuwon	Center	Clyde Drexler	Shooting Guard
1996	Bulls	Michael Jordan	Shooting Guard	Scottie Pippen	Small Forward	Dennis Rodman	Forward
1997	Bulls	Michael Jordan	Shooting Guard	Scottie Pippen	Small Forward	Dennis Rodman	Forward	Robert Parrish	Center
1998	Bulls	Michael Jordan	Shooting Guard	Scottie Pippen	Small Forward	Dennis Rodman	Forward
1999	Spurs	Tim Duncan	Forward	David Robinson	Center
2000	Lakers	Kobe Bryant	Shooting Guard	Shaquille O'Neal	Center
2001	Lakers	Kobe Bryant	Shooting Guard	Shaquille O'Neal	Center
2002	Lakers	Kobe Bryant	Shooting Guard	Shaquille O'Neal	Center
2003	Spurs	Tim Duncan	Forward	Tony Parker*	Guard
2004	Pistons	None**
2005	Spurs	Tim Duncan	Forward	Tony Parker*	Guard
2006	Heat	Dwyane Wade	Guard	Shaquille O'Neal	Center
2007	Spurs	Tim Duncan	Forward	Tony Parker*	Guard
2008	Celtics	Kevin Garnett	Forward	Ray Allen	Guard	Paul Pierce	Guard
2009	Lakers	Kobe Bryant	Shooting Guard	Pau Gasol*	Forward
2010	Lakers	Kobe Bryant	Shooting Guard	Pau Gasol*	Forward
Chances	*As of 5/30/2011	Gasol has 60% of HOF,	according to basketball-reference.com
		Parker has 57% of HOF
	** Chauncey Billups -	best chances of making it - 21%

This somewhat references my last article that states that Derrick Rose needs another high caliber player next to him that can be a difference maker. The previous article never touched base on the fact that it'd likely need to be another likely perennial All-Star/potential Hall of Famer like Rose that would have to be the compliment. Outside of a trade for Howard, I don't see a potential Hall of Famer going to the Bulls this offseason (player lockout be damned).

Using this formula as a gambler, it'd be wise to look at each team and see which teams have 2 or more future Hall-of-Famers and make future bets based on this. Any teams with 1 or less Hall-worthy players should not be considered reasonable bets. Bet on the long-shots at your own risk (especially in the NBA, where only 9 different franchises have won titles in the past 30 years).

As far as the NBA Finals for 2011 is concerned, I expect this to be a highly competitive series in Heat/Mavs II. Only 4 players (Dirk, Wade, Haslem and Jason Terry) remain from the 2006 series, which doesn't seem like a lot for a rematch. That shouldn't make the series any less entertaining.

Dirk enters this Finals on a roll that no one has ever seen from him before. He and LeBron have clearly been the best players in the postseason, which explains why their respective teams advanced to the final series of the season.

Unfortunately for Bulls fans who are bitter about the series loss to the Heat and to NBA fans who just flat out hate the Heat (you can't spell H-E-A-T without HATE, after all), I believe that the Heat are taking this series. Both teams are capable of winning games on the road (each team shared NBA best road records of 28-13), and I think each team will win at least a road game in the series. I flipped between Heat in 6 and in 7, but I'll go with my original choice and say Heat in 6.

Whatever the result, you can add 2011 to the Facts of NBA Life - another team with 2+ HOFers will win the title to make it 27 of 29.

Paging Gar Forman - your move.