Time passes. Memories remain, even if the physical being does not.
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| Two years flies fast |
Two years ago at the beginning of October, my family and I took our old dog Buddy for his last ride. The short six-minute car trip to the vet seemed like it lasted only six seconds, which especially sucked, given the nature of the drive and the empty car we came home with after a trip to the crematory where we had our last sights of his lifeless body.
I remember coming home to the emptier house, and while Pixie (her younger compadre) was not fully aware of what happened, you have to sense that she knew something was not right when we came back and her brother wasn't with us. The first time we let her outside to go to the bathroom, Pixie looked back at the door, as she usually followed her hobbling brother down the stairs - antagonizing him all the way down, biting his back legs as if she were in the wild herding sheep.
But this time, her brother was no longer there. At that moment, I knew she knew something was missing and terribly wrong. It was at that moment, I balled my eyes out (well, for about the 30th time that day anyways, but the first time since we got home from putting the old boy down).
I feel awful that my sister, who was living in Tennessee at the time, was not able to say good-bye to him, although I felt a little better knowing that anytime she came to visit, in the event something like this were to happen, she told me she would say her goodbyes, just in case.
On this particular day, I was less than two weeks into my relationship with Jen. I was not aware at the time, but earlier in the week was the first and only time that Jen would get to meet the stinky dog - also happened to be the first time she met my mom and dad - thanks for sticking all that out Jen!
As the afternoon developed that day, I was wondering if I would stick with my original Saturday evening plan of meeting with Jen and her friends at the bar many of them like to go to right next to their work, as Saturday at 5pm begins their weekends. I don't remember if I justified it this way when I made my ultimate decision of spending the night over at Jen's old place, but I don't know how well I would have done with spending the night in my old basement dwellings that night without my best friend laying right next to the bed, waiting for me to get up so he could hobble up the stairs with me to officially start the day.
Ultimately, I was glad I did go out and try getting away from the two tons of weight that the day had put on my emotional back. I was able to meet some of Jen's friends for the first time. I do remember telling some of them that I wish I had met them on a better day than this and that I may not be myself, but I doubt I needed to explain that given what happened.
I forgot exactly where me and Jen went out to dinner that night (I know it was close to Belmont and Sheffield), but I know it felt good to share my emotions with my new love as my old love had passed. In a brand new relationship, a moment like this can go a long way in determining what the future holds. Sharing my thoughts and enjoying dinner with Jen was as perfect of an end to my night as there could be to such an imperfect day.
As far as the two years that have passed, I wish I could say I've had Buddy in mind every day - because I haven't. But every now and then, when I walk into my office area (or what was planned to be my office area) and see the wallet-sized pictures I have of Buddy and Pixie from when my mom got them professional pictures, I occasionally tear up and always smile when seeing how excited Buddy was for his picture (and how timid and frightened his normally eccentric sister was).
It has been a while since I looked at the blog I wrote for him 18 hours preceding his passing. For those of you who haven't read it or those who would like to read it again, here it is:
http://b-boknows.blogspot.com/2011/10/some-buddy-to-love-eulogy-to-this-mans.html. The love me and my family had for him has never died. I'd like to think if anything, the love we had for him is reflected in new loves in our lives: Jen, my nephew Brayden, and anyone else who has joined our lives in the past 2 years.
As the years go by, I'll likely remember October 1st just as well as any other important day of my life, including a later date in October (the 24th was when we put the first dog in my life down when I was 13). The big difference between the two dogs was that I didn't think there was any way in hell of a dog impacting my life the way my old dog Crimmy did. Also, I have full memory of Buddy's entire life, while Crimmy preceded me by a few years.
In both cases, I will always have a fond memory of my childhood and young adulthood living the first 28 years of my life with these two dogs. As I have developed a strong relationship with Jen's two cats (who are now "our cats" in my eyes), I hope to continue to have pets make such a strong impact on my life as they already have.
