Torn about the National Anthem



How should I react to the national anthem? I don't think I'll ever have a set thought on this.

Whenever I am at a ball game, I await the national anthem. And each time, my feelings are torn as to how I should feel when I hear the singer belt out all the words from "Oh say" to "the brave".

On one hand, I listen to the song and think about all my relatives and people close to me who have made the choice to join the military and represent the flag while in many cases risking their lives on a daily basis. Whenever my cousin Tony was overseas in Iraq and I was at a game, I'd be fighting back tears thinking about what he was doing at that time and how he was while the anthem was being played.

I'm pretty sure the above scenario is how I should take the anthem, but there's a part of me lately that looks at the anthem/flag with a little skepticism. What our flag represents now on a world scale gets me thinking about our country's birth in separating ourselves from colonial rule and how what our country used to be (with the establishment of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights) is merely a blip on the radar of what our country is now. Rights being taken away on a daily basis under the guise of "security", cameras everywhere spying on our every move (whether it be on foot or in our cars). And everytime we vote for a president (Democratic or Republican), they're basically the same war mongering fools who waste our tax money on these endless wars.

The above doesn't cross my mind verbatum as I listen to the anthem, but I do have a sense of doubt as to what the flag meant when it was originally stitched versus what it represents now.

Perhaps I shouldn't over-think this and just continue to think of all my friends and family who fought for our country when I hear the anthem at games. Hell, most people probably don't even bother listening to the anthem in the way I do. I can't help it though.

I'll probably continue to be torn on how I should truly react to our nation's anthem at our National Pastime. As long as I'm going to see a good baseball game after the song is sung, then at the end of the day, that's what I will likely remember.

Half in the Bag - 2011's first 6 months from my experiences

My first seconds of 2011 were spent doing what many people were doing - at a party with some friends, enjoying some adult beverages and good food. Ordinary as it may seem, it set the tone for a year for me that has seen its good and bad; its happy and sad; no Mothers Day gift to Mom nor Fathers Day gift to dad (yet); people that we now have in our lives and people that we had. The things that stand out the most, chronologically~

Saaaaaakeeeeeeee!

Jan 2nd - Another successful birthday at Stoney Point betting on the ponies and hanging out with the best friends a guy could ask for. I'll remember the sake bombs that we took that day at the Japanese restaurant and the lady mocking my last place finish (of 4) in the sake bomb drink-off- "You a loser, ha ha ha."

Mid Jan - 2nd round of NFL playoffs and meeting up with Nick and Chris, a couple of old high school friends. We've hung out a handful of times since, often sharing old Mathlete stories and debating just how awesome Brian Scalabrine is. I'm glad that the old Nerd crew reconnected. We need to hang out again soon, gents.

To the delight of Bears fans everywhere, this was the sight to be seen on the first Sunday in February

Super Bowl Sunday - Hosted at Tim and Brie's place, they organized another good party for the game between the Steelers and the Packers. Yours truly and Tim profitted from the Super Bowl, but ultimately ended up losing the money back into the sports book later on in the week. Still, it is always nice to get a group together and enjoy each other's company.

Mid-late February - I was a few months away from graduating from my school and was still wondering what I wanted to do with my degree. After starting the second session of learning TV, it was then when I realized that video editing is what I wanted to do. This led me to be lead editor in our group's music video project as well as the splicing of several clips to produce YouTube videos. While I did take the internship with the school back in November, it was around Feb when I realized the direction I wanted to go in. (Editor's note: I still haven't put my degree to use yet, but plan on going in the video editing field). We graduated in April and for the most part have lost touch, but I'll never forget the great times we had as a class, both in and out of the classroom.

Rest in peace, Grandma Bolek. We will always remember you.

March thru April - The start of March was about the time where it was the beginning of the end for my Grandma Bolek, who was rushed to the hospital by my Dad and I believe my Aunt Donna. I remember getting back home from picking something up from my boss and answering a phone call from my sobbing father, who I can never recall ever seeing or hearing crying in my life. I visited her the next day when a hospice bed was placed in her home, but then never saw her alive again. She passed April 27, 2011 at the age of 90. She was, is, and will always be missed, but at the same time, always remembered.

HA HA! BUCKETS!

March Madness Opening Weekend - I always love this weekend, so much so that I've requested off of work for the opening Thursday and Friday of the tournament for the past 4 years. Unlike last year, no particular life-altering stories came out of 2011's tourney opening weekend. Bets were made (and mainly lost), beverages were consumed and laughs were shared. It lived up to its hype again as one of my favorite weekends in sports.

Jeff & Amber's engagement (Mother's Day weekend)- What do you get a mother whose son (cough, me) didn't give her a Mother's Day gift? How about a future daughter-in-law? Jeff and Amber stole the show this weekend when Amber showed off her ring towards the end of the Mother's Day brunch, which brought my Mom and others to tears. The date and location have been set for next year, and I could not be happier for my brother and future sister-in-law. Thank you for helping my mom forget that I didn't get her a Mother's Day gift (yet).

Congratulations to my happily married friends!

The Spencer Wedding - May 21 (The End of Days) - Spencer's bachelor party was on the Saturday of the tournament weekend and closed with us going to a burlesque show. That set the tone for a most untraditional wedding setting for a husband and wife (Jeremy and Kate) who have made a tradition of being untraditional. A small wedding at a park district may not be what most people want to do with their wedding, but they showed what really matters with a wedding is the people who are involved in the relationship surrounding themselves with their closest friends and family. It was only fitting that the after party was at a bowling alley, with us goofing off like we had done so many times before a decade earlier. I also had a blast writing a speech for this wedding and feel like I reflected well on the tone of the untraditional that had been set. I couldn't be happier for them.

Memorial Day weekend - While it may seem too soon to say this was the most significant weekend of the year, I highly doubt people could argue with me if I said it was. The weekend started with myself and Elias travelling to Wisconsin to meet up with a bunch of our friends. The lodge/resort was nice, but the initial night of the trip proved to be what made the trip. Many of my friends who I had never really seen drink before were looser than ever after a few drinks. Many were hung over the following day, but Mimosas were what I started the day with - it is vacation after all. The Saturday night of the trip was a lot more chill, but was necessary for the health of most of Friday night's participants.
    Elias and I left on Sunday, a day before the rest of the people left. I wanted to come home to take care of the dogs, who were at my Grandma Raynor's for a night. I didn't want her to be bothered by them for long though, so I left early and brought the dogs home to get back into their element. I had known about a Memorial Day party before I left the Wisconsin trip that some of my new friends were hosting at their rented place in Alsip, so I figured while I was taking care of the dogs, I'd also attend this party later on. It started at 4pm on the Sunday, but I came later to avoid being trapped into an early drinking demise (that later proved to be true for many of the participants of the 4pm start of the party). It was here that I briefly met Moe, who was my bags partner for the one game I played against Craig and Pete. While we didn't win, an innocent pairing of two people for a bags game eventually led to what is now a promising relationship with an awesome girl.

Bobby McGees - Before the month of June, I had been to this bar exactly once in my life. In June alone, I was there every Tuesday and an additional few days. I have met some awesome new people in the past month through the new relationship. As I've told Moe's friends, the type of people you surround yourself with is a good indicator of what kind of person you are. That is definitely the case here. I'm glad I've gotten to meet the people I've met so far and look forward to meeting others as the months

Vegas -  You already can see the blog about Vegas from mid June - feel free to consult this blog on how it went. It was a traditional Vegas trip full of ups and downs at the sports book, a trip that always leaves you wanting more of the Sin City.

The start of my Arlington success

Arlington/BBBBQ weekend - The weekend which started my parent's trip to Michigan (a trip where they never saw the sun for a week) also started a vacation of my own. Brie had her birthday at the horsetrack, and about 10-12 people came out for it over the course of the day. In addition to enjoying two pina coladas, I also basked in the riches of picking 5 of 10 winners throughout the day, including a 13/1 named Brain Teazer. The following day, I had my traditional BBBBQ, which was enjoyed by many. The weather was good enough to enjoy the pool as well. Also, it was the day many of my friends got to meet the lady for the first time. The party seemed to strike up many friendships, as the next day I saw nothing on Facebook but (A friend of mine) is now friends with (another friend of mine) and 6 (other friends of mine).

I may be missing a few things, and I apologize if I did. These events reflect the type of year that I have had so far. I look forward to seeing how the rest of the year develops. I hope all of you get to enjoy it with me in some capacity.

I Got Your Back: The Power of a Solid Network

There's nothing quite like knowing that someone has your back. In order for someone to look out for you like this, you have to instill a sense of trust in the person. This process usually takes time to develop, but once you do,  they got your back for life.

I am thinking of this as I took on a role at work the past 3 days that was unfamiliar to me: that of a consultant relations person. After my boss forwarded over all of the potential consultants that we were looking to hire for a project coming up, I read the emails and noticed that a lot of the people who were looking for work had been told by fellow consultants about the job opening. My task for this week, which was to interview the consultants, allowed me to peer into the world of consultant networking.

This helped me realize two things about the consulting world: (1) While it appears to be large, the consultant network is tightly connected and (2) the relationships that consultants have developed with each other is no different than that of a good friend referring another to an ordinary job.

Every day, whether you know it or not, you are networking with someone - whether it be talking to a new person on the phone at your job or saying hello to the clerk at the grocery store. Every impression you make with someone goes a long way in determining future opportunities should your job situation somehow fall apart.

I am no stranger to the above. My last two jobs, I have received interviews (and then later was hired) thanks to a recommendation from someone I had developed a friendship at different points in my life (one through school and another through work). People are always more willing to hire someone that comes with a recommendation from someone that they trust. Why go through all the trouble and hassle of mounds and mounds of cover letters and resumes that flood your desk and email inbox when you can take the word of someone that you've developed a friendship/professional relationship with. Many times (not all the time - nothing is ever fool proof), the person recommended is a success - and this opportunity likely wouldn't have existed if the middle person (who knows both the employer and future employee) didn't develop good repore with both parties.

So next time you are in a position to make a good impression on someone, it would be in your best interests to do so. You never know who you might need to put in a good word for you if you or someone you know happens to need employment.

Definitely Maybe For Sure Coming: How Not to Answer Invites on Facebook

About 2-3 weeks back, I spoke of some pros and cons of Facebook. However, I forgot to mention my major pet peeve.

It doesn't have so much to do with the site itself, but how people treat the site. In particular, how people treat event invites.

I am not counting the large, public events that a lot of times are celebrating something that mocks something in pop culture or the world in general (i.e. Post-Apocalyptic Looting following the end of the world on May 21st).

Rather, my beef is with the way people respond to event invites and how oftentimes, people will answer an event invite a certain way because they think the host would rather hear a certain answer for them.

"Maybe" = "No"

This is my secondary of pet peeves when it comes to event answer "faux pas". I can't put it as the primary because I know there are times where someone's answer is "maybe" because they have another event that day or something conflicting and they will try to make it to the event that you invited them to.

However, a lot of times, someone answers "maybe" because they are just avoiding the word "no" because it seems like it would be insulting to say, "No, I don't want to go to your party." For example, my last get-together of significant invites, I had 19 people respond maybe and 15 didn't come. In past events, I noticed a similar 80-90% ratio of "maybes" not showing. I spoke to my friend Jenny, who co-hosted a Memorial Day BBQ last month with three of her roomates, about this pet peeve of mine in a conversation. Their party had roughly the same 80-90% no-shows from the maybes, according to her.

Trust me, you're not going to offend me if you say you don't want to come to my party and answer with a negative response instead of the obligatory "maybe".

Sometimes I will initially answer "maybe" when someone posts an event. However, I will always go to change the answer to a definite "Yes" or "No" when I know for sure whether I am attending. Especially if it is something that requires reservations or the pre-purchase of something that requires a headcount of some sort.

When "Yes" is a "No Show"

This would be the biggest of the pet peeves. When I organize an event of some sort, I buy a certain amount of food that will cover the entire party. Granted, I usually go a little overboard (particularly when I win at the horse track the same day I'm buying the food/drink). However, I use the # of people who said yes as a barometer for how much I need to buy.

If 20 people say "Yes" to an invite, I expect those people to show up. Like the "maybe" answer, I'm sure there are some reasonable excuses for not coming if you answer "Yes". However, I consider the only reasonable ones are ones that are last-minute things that need to be attended to (i.e. babysitter not showing up, sickness, other family-related thing, and so on). If you answer "Yes" and don't even bother to let me know why you're not showing up, that is something that annoys me to no end. At least maybes don't make me think that they are showing up. Often, I know they are not, especially based on the given ratios that I've experiences with events that I've hosted.

When the aforementioned "Yes" goes to "No" with no explanation, I am much quicker to not invite said people to future things.

This article wasn't meant to offend anyone, but rather educate those who have poor etiquette when it comes to responding to things. If it offended you, then you are likely a culprit of the above behaviors and you should learn how to help those people out who are inviting you to events that many times require an accurate response for purchasing decisions.

Think about it this way - if you were sending out wedding invites to 300 people, of which 250 people responded yes, how upset would you be if 50 of those people didn't show up and you were stuck footing the bill for 50 dinner plates that didn't get touched? (Note: I've never gotten married, so I don't know if there's some sort of insurance or something that allows married couples to avoid this potential nightmare).

Not too often you will catch me quoting Nancy Reagan, but if you don't plan on coming to a party, "Just Say No".

Please don't make me quote her again. You've been warned.

Youth Wasted on the Young - No More

In the past 9 days, I doubt I went to bed any earlier than 1:30-2am. Many times, especially the weekends, I found myself hitting the hay closer to 3am. I can say that a combination of house sitting and hanging out with the new lady had a big role in that.

Am I complaining? Not in the slightest. In fact, I'm embracing it. No one should embrace a lack of sleep, you say.

But it doesn't affect my work, doesn't affect my relationships with others and I usually end up making up the sleep on the weekends. Today (well, Sunday) is the perfect example of that - I was in bed until 12:30pm, which I haven't done in years. I was surprised my dad/mom let me sleep that late. Maybe they figured I could use the beauty sleep.

(I know others - and rightly so - would say that you can't really make up sleep that you've lost. But I've always been one who functions well on about 6 hours of sleep).

If staying awake being entertained by friends and enjoying the company of others is a crime, I'm guilty as charged.

This past month, I have found myself hanging out with people several years younger than me. It reminds me of the energy I used to have and the energy I can still have. Granted, this will require me to get into better shape to feed off of this fountain of youth.

However, with the future I see ahead of me, I feel that it will be worth it. I will make sure that youth is no longer wasted on the young.

(I know I'm not old, but go with it, people!)

Happy: The Fail-Proof Economic Stimulus Plan

Dear government (you don't deserve a "G" until you can earn us more "G"s),

I found a way to get us out of this mess. It has nothing to do with policies, nothing to do with addendums to bills that you may not like, nothing to do with politics at all.

In fact, it may be something that you may find hard to tax. But leave it to me to give you guys a chance to find something new to tax. I'm pretty sure everything in my sight has a tax to it at this point.

Sell me some happiness.

Yes, happiness.

The happier consumers are, the more they will buy. Get them to win some horse races and share stories with how awesome their new dating interest is, and watch how much more money they spend than they originally planned on.

(If you haven't figured out that this letter is written by me about me, then you should stop reading now.)

Show me a person who is happy, and I'll show you someone who is more willing to spend money on things than the average person.

Depressed people spend money only on booze.

Happy people spend money on that and then some. They don't even realize how much they spend until they look at their new credit card bill weeks later.

Consider me a potential buyer into this system.

Consider me an actual buyer. I'd show you the bill for my BBQ for tomorrow, but the receipt is too long. And that has to do with effects from happiness - from the track winnings and life in general.


If you can find a way to bundle happiness for others to buy, then I think we will be ok.

Rig a horse race or two if you have to. Whatever it takes.

Love,

Brian

P.S. Happy Father's Day to all of those good fathers out there. Bill Bolek - that especially means you.

P.P.S. Mentioning my dad in a social medium and expecting him to read it is about as pointless of a sentence as there can be read in this world.

In Your Facebook: The Pros and Cons of the #1 Social Network

This may be a blog I add more to as response to it dictates as such. I have been thinking of the pros and cons of Facebook for a while. The reading of The Facebook Effect on my Vegas flights allowed me to get more perspective on the topic.

Pros:

Contact with old friends that you actually care about

This is the the best part of Facebook. For the people we are already close to, Facebook is an extension of the friendship where people can see ridiculous posts made for liking and humor purposes.

However, there are some people you lost contact with that you actually give a crap about. You will usually find out about these people within a month or two of being "Facebook friends". You will usually have a good idea on who these people are the minute you get their friend invite or when you send it yourself.

While some high school people befriend you simply to build their "friend" list to say, "Hey Mel, I got 987 friends, you only got 684, so suck it, beotch!", there are others who were actually your friend at some point and just lost touch with as college, work, etc. got in the way.

Random check-ins

The random check-ins are my new favorite thing. The mobile app allows you to check into a place based on where your phone's GPS is. It gives you the liberty of checking into a place that is anywhere within a mile of your current location.

I love the confusion that this has caused with people who have taken the check-ins seriously. For example, I checked into a tanning place when I was at a bar around 12:30am on a Friday night. My brother was wondering to his fiance what the hell changed with me.

As you can see, the humor for this is limitless, as long as you go to different places.

Sharing humor

People have realized the limitlessness of my humor through Facebook. While I remain humble on the subject, I can't help but agree. I believe people's true personalities are shared through their statuses in the long run of posting. We will all have our ups and downs in life, but what people share with the world in general is the type of person they are. Any time I can make people laugh or someone can make me laugh, I feel like Facebook has accomplished something good.


Cons:

Detail Ad Nauseum

I don't need to know every single detail about what you are doing. You're brushing your teeth? Fantastic - your dentist should be happy.

Your mom cooked you spaghetti? Yippee! Glad to hear you won't starve to death. Actually, I take that back.

Not to say I'm not guilty of pointless statuses. But when you're doing things you should be doing already, I don't need to hear about them.

Fake Enthusiasm

I know this is a prevalent thing. I'll post a status about something (for example, I haven't been this happy in forever). And while I believe that most people who respond to this (and those who don't) are genuinely happy, some people "like" the status without giving 2 thoughts to it.

This also goes to "Happy Birthdays" from people you never speak to or that really wouldn't make an effort to actually go out for a birthday drink (or for some other occasion). While it seems polite to wish someone a happy birthday, if you're saying it because you think I want to hear it, then you are mistaken. Honestly, I'd rather hear it in person or through a call. This more applies to the fringe friends. My family and close friends, I know actually care to say those words to me - regardless of whether I hang out with them on my birthday. I'm guilty of saying Happy Birthday to people that I never see, but for the most part, I try saying it to people that I am in a position to say Happy Birthday to.

Odds are, if you are reading this blog, these things don't apply to you. We probably at least have a shot of hanging out at some point in our lives, whether it be in the next month or the next year.

Also, I'm sure I do the pointless posts as much as the next guy, so no need to call me a hypocrit. I am well-aware of it. I think we all do it from time to time. But it's the people who do it all the time that are who I am referring to here.

I'm sure there's more to this, and I'm sure I'll add more to it. Please add your own "likes" and "unlikes" about Facebook. I wrote this up quickly to get something out there and wanted to touch on my main points of happiness/disgust.

Good night folks.

And also, I'm no longer single. You better "like" that, if you're my "real" friend.