Unemployment Chronicles Chapter 4: Thank You

For a second there, I felt like a teenager using social media.

That second was the moment I checked a simple posting on Facebook that I was debating even putting out to the world in the first place. A short, simple statement with not much depth, but with a lot of potential impact in my life.

Brian Bolek

Interview time. Let's do it

This simple status was posted a moment before I got out of my car Wednesday afternoon, dressed in my powder blue dress shirt that I wore while standing up as best man in my friend's wedding a few years ago, accompanied by a tie from a wedding I attended Memorial Day weekend. The marriage of these pieces of clothing built my confidence to an appropriate level entering the interview.

Instead of spoiling how the interview went, what the job was for, what were some questions I was asked  (and so forth), I would rather focus on the feeling that I felt, hours after the interview was done, once I checked to see the encouragement I received from a simple social media posting.

We all know the deal with these postings - we all have our lives and like to share them with people. Some like to get a rise out of people; others like to share pictures and news with people who they may be lucky to see once a year, with a bunch of different circumstances in between. I've shared my share of Unemployment Chronicles in the past couple months, none which featured details of an interview or great job lead. And now that I have both, I feel like I'm Mileying you with my flesh-covered resume, teasing you with what may have happened (or not have happened).

It's not the actual job or the interview that matters to me at this point - it's the reaction I felt when I saw the plethora of "likes" and the words of encouragement from many of you, wishing me luck and wanting me to get out of this unemployment state. Yes - these messages we post are often self-serving, and yes - we unreasonably need reassurance from time to time that we have a great network of people behind us. And that's what I felt at that time. I want to thank all of you for your encouragement.

The biggest thanks go to the closest around me - Jen, my parents, brother, sister, sister-in-law, nephew, grandma, my closest friends, etc. It's for all of you that I wish to succeed and make the most of these 7-9 decades of life that we're lucky to have on this earth, wherever I decide to work.

The Unemployment Chronicles Chapter 2: Linking Myself In

Last week, my unemployment became official when I submitted my lay off notice to the Illinois Department of Employment Services (IDES). It felt weird waking up on a Monday and having no work junk emails to delete. It also felt weird waking up around 10-11am or so. I decided to give myself a little time to unwind following the lay off, hence the extra sleep.

That's not to say I haven't been looking for jobs - I have. But my focus in the days leading up to my last day at Tango2 and my first days/first week of unemployment were more or less about getting my cards in order. The best way to do that, I've found, is through LinkedIn.

Many of you are probably already familiar with LinkedIn, but for those who aren't, the site is a more professional version of Facebook (let's just say, you might not want to have that picture of you taking jello shots with your friends as your profile for this site). LinkedIn is basically an online resume of what you want prospective employers and networks to see.

For those of you who wish to use LinkedIn optimally, here's a few things I've found out that can help the most:

1. One of my favorite features of LinkedIn is the recommendations section. The people you add as connections and vice versa can vouch for your work history by writing up a small blurb of their interactions with you at your current or past job.
   
   One of my recommendations for the recommendations section is to initiate the recommendations yourself. Write about your colleagues who you have interacted with the most and let the world know about their professional strengths. In many cases, you'll find that these colleagues will return the favor and publicly vouch (on LinkedIn) for how great of a job you did for the company.
   
2. There's also an option on the site for you to endorse people's skills. This can work in several ways - you can add skills yourself or you can have someone endorse you for a skill. In this particular section, the skills that you have been endorsed for the most will show up towards the top of this section. Again, like the previous point, I recommend taking the first step and endorsing people's skills in hopes that they can return the favor.
   
3. While I haven't utilized these yet, I recommend joining groups in your area of employment or desired area of employment. There are groups for just about every different type of profession, and to help you further, there are a lot of groups specific to professionals in a certain city or region. This can help you connect quickly to people in your area and profession that you may have never known before. I am in a few groups myself, but have not utilized these as well as I should.
   
4. And last but not least, you can check out jobs a lot easier than you can on most of those job building sites. Most of the jobs that pop up on my page are relating to my last role as a Sales Support Specialist. My guess is that it caters to what you have mentioned in your job history in your profile, so make sure you provide up-to-date and accurate job titles for the companys you have worked.

In addition to my networking through LinkedIn, I have reached out to most of my old co-workers and friends who have jobs in similar industries to see what might be out there and hope to get a name-drop here or there. A few of my former co-workers were kind enough to write recommendation letters for me, which I will have at my disposal should potential employers ask for them.

Now's the time for me to set myself up with some hard leads and get myself some interviews. Hopefully that will be chronicled in one of the next Unemployment Chronicles.

I may need some help with my resume, so anyone who knows anyone who specializes in resumes, I'd be glad to send you mine to see what I may need to edit.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn if you haven't already. I would be glad to write you a recommendation if I've worked with you in the past or endorse some skills of yours.

The Unemployment Chronicles Chapter 1: The Strife of Brian

Since my weight loss blogs are nearing an end, what a perfect time to get laid off so I can start a new blog series - The Unemployment Chronicles! And what better a first chapter name than this - The Strife of Brian!

No Longer The Warming Voicemail of the Company

Reality hasn't set in yet, but I'm sure it will Monday when I haven't woke up from my 7:45 am alarm. Just to make sure that does not happen, that particular alarm was just deleted from my phone.

Or maybe it will be when I send my computer back to the IT folks via FedEx. I spent a part of my week making sure to email all those fun excel sheets that I used in this very blog space.

Or quite possibly,  it will be when I file for unemployment to start the hopefully short process of collecting those checks. I'm hoping that I won't have to receive more than a few.

One thing I almost forgot to do was change my voicemail to a more generic one. With my cell having been the phone number connected to Tango2s website,  I needed to have a company-detailed voicemail.  My warming voice lent itself to the voicemails of my old company.

The Next Steps

The past 12 days have shown that I have a great group of people around me that don't want me to be on the ground for long. Family and friends have been messaging me, asking me to provide my resume so they can send it to their networks. For this, I am forever grateful. Hell, there's even a few Facebook friends who I never met in person who are helping in my search.

I have had the pleasure of speaking with a couple of recruiters from unrelated fields,  and while neither call led me directly to a job, they both led me to the same conclusion: I need to have a clue of what I'm looking for before going all out in this search. There's no sense in rushing right away into something if it's not what I really want. 

Within reason, regardless, I will need a job of some kind,  but at this juncture, assessing my next steps is the way to go.

If any of you have your own unemployment stories, I'd be glad to hear them. I've gone through this before but I always welcome a good story or advice as it relates to the process (more so the success of escaping unemployment or how you may have coped with an extended layoff). 

If you would like to potentially help with my search,  I would be glad to send you my resume for you to send to your networks or even just constructively edit. Thanks in advance for your help.

This is the strife of yours truly. At least for now. Until next time, peace.

Putting the "Networking" into Social Networking

I don't remember the majority of statuses I posted on Facebook this past year, but I distinctly remember one that was posted on Day 1 of the year. It had to do with not cursing on Facebook as much this year as a New Year's Resolution.

Funny thing was, it was my mom who posted that when I left my Facebook up after getting a slice of pizza at Nonna's. I laughed it off and commented on my status that it got hacked and proceeded to curse to contradict "my" New Year's Resolution.

Time passed, and I didn't give this status much thought. Then, my company trip came around in March. I befriended some folks from work on Facebook afterwards. While it may not have hit me right away, I realized that I needed to present myself better on these social networks - as it is a reflection of myself and who I am.

Earlier this week, I read an article I found from someone I follow on Twitter (@beyondthebets for those on Twitter), and he went into describing a speech he gave to a college class full of seniors. He was telling the kids that the concept of sending resumes to employers are becoming more obsolete. (Here's the link to the article). With all of the searching abilities on the Internet & virtual footprint that many people leave, a lot of candidates can be eliminated with a simple Google investigation.

Likewise, someone who leaves a positive impression can boost their chances of getting hired. Looking at a website that someone has created (highly recommended to these college seniors by the guy) can give employers the chance to see what kind of work this candidate is capable of producing.

With this in mind, I think one of my goals moving forward is establishing my own website. I'll need to learn how to design a site, and I'd like to have a theme to it, rather than the randomness of my blog. I could promote it on social networks and hopefully get a following of people.

Step one in this process is getting my own personal laptop - an Apple most likely. I'll get back into video editing and possibly start creating my own content for a webshow. This is something I will do at the beginning of 2012.

I may look to reach out to people on how to best do this. I know a few friends who I might ask for help - it's always good to have people you know who can help you out.

While it wasn't my intention to clean up my social networking posts, it was (and is) in my best interests to maintain them with some level of professionalism. That doesn't mean I won't post something that ruffles feathers from time to time, but it does mean I am more conscious of it.

So let this be a lesson to those of you who post pictures of yourself doing a beer bong or update your status with incoherent drabble about "This girl is a whore/slut". People are watching you, some who could decide your fate when it comes to getting a job recommendation down the line. When looking at these social networks, people often forget the word "network" in this equation.

I guess I can say "Mama Knows Best" when it came to my initial Facebook post of the year. Thanks Mom.

Social Network Alert

Last night, I posted my 1,000th tweet in my 7th month of being on Twitter, which I started on my first Vegas trip in 2011.

I'm predicting that I will have about 3-4K tweets in 2012 as I wean myself off of Facebook more and more. I think Twitter will surpass Facebook some day. News is broken on Twitter faster than any other medium. I get a lot of news that I wouldn't have ever found on Facebook, much of which is specialized in the areas of life that I like to have as much information as possible (i.e. sports gambling info).

If you decide to go over to Twitter this year, my name couldn't be any easier to remember (@BrianBolek). Most of my posts are sports-related, but I do have some outside observations from time to time that may get you to laugh.

Anywho, hope everyone has a Happy New Year. And once again, thanks for reading.

Friend it Like Beckham: How FB Has Changed Social Conventions of What a Buddy is

In the past week, I've deleted about 40 friends from Facebook, and I could probably delete 40-50 more people. I've blindly accepted some friend requests in the past, notably from people from high school that I haven't spoken to since then (and really didn't speak to while in high school). I haven't been as quick to delete those ones as some other people who I've met once in my life or not at all and don't anticipate ever talking to again.

I'm wondering how many people actually go through the process of "unfriending" people. I see how many people that people are "friends" with and I laugh hysterically at it. There's no way that anyone could be friends with thousands of people. Sure, you could have met with and had a decent conversation or two with that many people over the course of your life. However, I highly doubt that any of us are truly friends with more than a hundred people at most, and that includes family.

Facebook has changed what it means to be a friend to someone. Back in the day (oh crap, using this phrase legitimately - what's next, a cane and false teeth?), friends were people that you hung out with at least once every so often. You would talk on the phone, talk at school and make plans to hang out.

Now it's probably more than just FB that changes the definition of a friend. As we grow older and move onto our new lives and careers, many of us grow apart and need technology to keep us connected. Hanging out and talking every day is not possible like it was before as a result of our new lives. So perhaps it's necessary to have these technologies to have any semblence to an "every-day friendship" like you may have once had with some people.

I also understand there are different degrees of friendship and different roles that people play in your lives. Some friends are closer, always have been close, and will be your friends whether you have a Facebook or not. Some are friends you may share a particular interest with and just share stories/activites with them and Facebook adds a dimension to your friendship with them that provides some use.

Then there's the friends who add you merely to add to their ever-growing list of friends as a way to boost their friend total. I don't know how anyone with thousands of friends (or even beyond 400-500 friends) could contact all of these people beyond the standard "Happy Birthday" messages in a given year. I don't see how it's possible. If you are a person who has this many people as a friend on FB and you can do this, I applaud you. I just don't see how I could really be friends (and decent enough friends where I know what's going on in people's lifes and hang out with them once every so often) with that many people. Hell, 368 or whatever I got right now is ridiculous.

If you find yourself deleted from my list and you read this blog every so often, no need to take offense. I'm trying to personalize Facebook to be more like who my real friends and real social network are like.

I'd love to try establishing more conversation with some people that I don't talk to as much, so if you read this and haven't talked to me in a while and would like to, please feel free to message me on the site.

Definitely Maybe For Sure Coming: How Not to Answer Invites on Facebook

About 2-3 weeks back, I spoke of some pros and cons of Facebook. However, I forgot to mention my major pet peeve.

It doesn't have so much to do with the site itself, but how people treat the site. In particular, how people treat event invites.

I am not counting the large, public events that a lot of times are celebrating something that mocks something in pop culture or the world in general (i.e. Post-Apocalyptic Looting following the end of the world on May 21st).

Rather, my beef is with the way people respond to event invites and how oftentimes, people will answer an event invite a certain way because they think the host would rather hear a certain answer for them.

"Maybe" = "No"

This is my secondary of pet peeves when it comes to event answer "faux pas". I can't put it as the primary because I know there are times where someone's answer is "maybe" because they have another event that day or something conflicting and they will try to make it to the event that you invited them to.

However, a lot of times, someone answers "maybe" because they are just avoiding the word "no" because it seems like it would be insulting to say, "No, I don't want to go to your party." For example, my last get-together of significant invites, I had 19 people respond maybe and 15 didn't come. In past events, I noticed a similar 80-90% ratio of "maybes" not showing. I spoke to my friend Jenny, who co-hosted a Memorial Day BBQ last month with three of her roomates, about this pet peeve of mine in a conversation. Their party had roughly the same 80-90% no-shows from the maybes, according to her.

Trust me, you're not going to offend me if you say you don't want to come to my party and answer with a negative response instead of the obligatory "maybe".

Sometimes I will initially answer "maybe" when someone posts an event. However, I will always go to change the answer to a definite "Yes" or "No" when I know for sure whether I am attending. Especially if it is something that requires reservations or the pre-purchase of something that requires a headcount of some sort.

When "Yes" is a "No Show"

This would be the biggest of the pet peeves. When I organize an event of some sort, I buy a certain amount of food that will cover the entire party. Granted, I usually go a little overboard (particularly when I win at the horse track the same day I'm buying the food/drink). However, I use the # of people who said yes as a barometer for how much I need to buy.

If 20 people say "Yes" to an invite, I expect those people to show up. Like the "maybe" answer, I'm sure there are some reasonable excuses for not coming if you answer "Yes". However, I consider the only reasonable ones are ones that are last-minute things that need to be attended to (i.e. babysitter not showing up, sickness, other family-related thing, and so on). If you answer "Yes" and don't even bother to let me know why you're not showing up, that is something that annoys me to no end. At least maybes don't make me think that they are showing up. Often, I know they are not, especially based on the given ratios that I've experiences with events that I've hosted.

When the aforementioned "Yes" goes to "No" with no explanation, I am much quicker to not invite said people to future things.

This article wasn't meant to offend anyone, but rather educate those who have poor etiquette when it comes to responding to things. If it offended you, then you are likely a culprit of the above behaviors and you should learn how to help those people out who are inviting you to events that many times require an accurate response for purchasing decisions.

Think about it this way - if you were sending out wedding invites to 300 people, of which 250 people responded yes, how upset would you be if 50 of those people didn't show up and you were stuck footing the bill for 50 dinner plates that didn't get touched? (Note: I've never gotten married, so I don't know if there's some sort of insurance or something that allows married couples to avoid this potential nightmare).

Not too often you will catch me quoting Nancy Reagan, but if you don't plan on coming to a party, "Just Say No".

Please don't make me quote her again. You've been warned.

In Your Facebook: The Pros and Cons of the #1 Social Network

This may be a blog I add more to as response to it dictates as such. I have been thinking of the pros and cons of Facebook for a while. The reading of The Facebook Effect on my Vegas flights allowed me to get more perspective on the topic.

Pros:

Contact with old friends that you actually care about

This is the the best part of Facebook. For the people we are already close to, Facebook is an extension of the friendship where people can see ridiculous posts made for liking and humor purposes.

However, there are some people you lost contact with that you actually give a crap about. You will usually find out about these people within a month or two of being "Facebook friends". You will usually have a good idea on who these people are the minute you get their friend invite or when you send it yourself.

While some high school people befriend you simply to build their "friend" list to say, "Hey Mel, I got 987 friends, you only got 684, so suck it, beotch!", there are others who were actually your friend at some point and just lost touch with as college, work, etc. got in the way.

Random check-ins

The random check-ins are my new favorite thing. The mobile app allows you to check into a place based on where your phone's GPS is. It gives you the liberty of checking into a place that is anywhere within a mile of your current location.

I love the confusion that this has caused with people who have taken the check-ins seriously. For example, I checked into a tanning place when I was at a bar around 12:30am on a Friday night. My brother was wondering to his fiance what the hell changed with me.

As you can see, the humor for this is limitless, as long as you go to different places.

Sharing humor

People have realized the limitlessness of my humor through Facebook. While I remain humble on the subject, I can't help but agree. I believe people's true personalities are shared through their statuses in the long run of posting. We will all have our ups and downs in life, but what people share with the world in general is the type of person they are. Any time I can make people laugh or someone can make me laugh, I feel like Facebook has accomplished something good.


Cons:

Detail Ad Nauseum

I don't need to know every single detail about what you are doing. You're brushing your teeth? Fantastic - your dentist should be happy.

Your mom cooked you spaghetti? Yippee! Glad to hear you won't starve to death. Actually, I take that back.

Not to say I'm not guilty of pointless statuses. But when you're doing things you should be doing already, I don't need to hear about them.

Fake Enthusiasm

I know this is a prevalent thing. I'll post a status about something (for example, I haven't been this happy in forever). And while I believe that most people who respond to this (and those who don't) are genuinely happy, some people "like" the status without giving 2 thoughts to it.

This also goes to "Happy Birthdays" from people you never speak to or that really wouldn't make an effort to actually go out for a birthday drink (or for some other occasion). While it seems polite to wish someone a happy birthday, if you're saying it because you think I want to hear it, then you are mistaken. Honestly, I'd rather hear it in person or through a call. This more applies to the fringe friends. My family and close friends, I know actually care to say those words to me - regardless of whether I hang out with them on my birthday. I'm guilty of saying Happy Birthday to people that I never see, but for the most part, I try saying it to people that I am in a position to say Happy Birthday to.

Odds are, if you are reading this blog, these things don't apply to you. We probably at least have a shot of hanging out at some point in our lives, whether it be in the next month or the next year.

Also, I'm sure I do the pointless posts as much as the next guy, so no need to call me a hypocrit. I am well-aware of it. I think we all do it from time to time. But it's the people who do it all the time that are who I am referring to here.

I'm sure there's more to this, and I'm sure I'll add more to it. Please add your own "likes" and "unlikes" about Facebook. I wrote this up quickly to get something out there and wanted to touch on my main points of happiness/disgust.

Good night folks.

And also, I'm no longer single. You better "like" that, if you're my "real" friend.