5/19/2011

The True Best Man

(note: to those attending the wedding, this is not my speech)

It's a title that I never really thought about much, but the title "Best Man" carries a lot of weight to me.

Best Man is someone who you've known for a long while. Best Man is someone you have shared some great times with. Best Man is someone you can count on when you're down. Best Man is with you from beginning to end. Best Man is with you during your ups and downs, highs and lows.

Best Man is not a title to be taken lightly.

Less than 2 days from now, my friend Jeremy Spencer (known by his surname to many of us) will be getting hitched to his lady Kate Baker. It's only fitting that it's a non-traditional wedding, because Spencer has never been a traditional person.

Each of us has influenced the other in more ways than we can imagine. For a brief period of time, I tried emulating his fashion for Hawaiian shirts (biiiiiiig mistake). And I know I introduced him to a movie (Dirty Work) that has become the staple of a lifetime's worth of quotes for us.

Within this lifetime of the friendship, we've both went away to school, and for the majority of the past 9 years of the friendship, we haven't been within 100 miles of each other. However, that never stopped us from getting closer as friends and essentially becoming brothers.

The "That's What She Said" and "Name Game" have become our new ways of humoring each other and others around us. The Name Game especially - with its unique way of creating a nickname around a play on words that yields many a laughs - has kept both of us sharp in both humor and intelligence.

As the years have passed, I can proudly say our friendship is stronger than ever. And I'm glad he's getting married to Kate, who clearly matches up with him perfectly.

Thank you to my friend, my brother, Spencer, for letting me share a big part in one of the biggest day of your life.

On Saturday, the true Best Man will be him.

Congrats to you and Kate.

Don't Stress, Young Man

I need to see someone about my sports addiction problem.

There's no reason a human being should get so worked up about any angle of sports where it affects the person even in the slightest.

Don't get me wrong. Sports are a good release from real life, where we have to deal with work, bills, recession stuff, etc. When sports help you forget about those things for a while, no one would argue that as a bad thing. However, there are just some times where I get worked up about certain aspects of sports that make me question why I get so involved in it emotionally.

Gambling

This devil of a thing entered my life at a young age. Around the age of 8 or 9, I was aware of point spreads and wasn't too bad for my age in guessing what a line would be in football. A few years later, I organized a football picking pool with me, my dad and two neighbors on the block to guess the winners straight up every week.

That morphed into the once famous confidence pool that had me and some friends competing for money every week and for end of year prizes by ranking the teams we thought had the best chance of winning every week in descending order. As that dissolved, online gambling became my new outlet. Outside of a few decent cashouts, that has been mostly sewer money.

And who could forget Vegas, the place I will have visited for the 6th time in 3 1/2 years after my June trip is complete. While others get their thrills in Vegas from black jack, poker, clubs and shows, my Dream Vegas is plopping my ass in the sports book after a nice fattening Bellagio breakfast with mimosas. While I've never lost more than a couple hundred while in Vegas, I've never really won much either.

Gambling changes the way I watch sports in that I am often rooting for teams and outcomes that I would not care about otherwise. I will say that I am as objective of a gambler as there is when it comes to judging how an official/referee/umpire may or may not be impacting my bet. Which brings me to the next thing that bothers me about sports....

Blaming the Officials

Going into game 2 of the series between the Heat and the Bulls, I told my friend Tim that I guaranteed that Bulls fans and "fans" would find a way to complain about the referees if the game was close (I said within 10 points) and the Bulls lost.

Sure enough, right on queue, I saw a few items on a social network (hint: it rhymes with Schmace schmook) of a handful of complaints about the refs as the Heat were closing out their 10 point win. I didn't realize referees caused the Bulls to shoot 34 percent from the field and 61% from the free throw line, but I'm glad a few people were out there to remind me that it was the men in the zebra outfits who caused that. Sure as hell beats thinking that, I don't know, your team got outplayed almost as bad as they did to you in the previous game.

Even while completely expecting a few people to blame the refs, it still annoyed me to no end to read some of those comments. I typed out comments and hit the backspace button before sending the comments, for fear of getting in a War of Turds with some of the haters of striped shirts. I knew arguing specific calls that the Bulls got in their favor would do no good, so I resisted and decided that venting about it to the 10 people who read this would be a better outlet.

(Editor's note: I did bet the Heat with 5 people but promise you that I will not blame the refs if the Heat lose this series. Neither team needs the ref's help to win the series.)

So the point of this subsection, I guess, is that if I didn't get so worked up about sports, I wouldn't get worked up about people blaming the refs for crap that their players did or did not do. Even in the small increments that I see this happening, this probably annoys me more than the gambling aspect of sports.

If it weren't for the refs, the Bulls would be 92-0 at this point in the year, well on their way to the first perfect season in NBA history.

That last sentence is probably believed by 5-10% of Bulls fans- which scares the shit out of me.

My teams suck

The teams I have decided to follow in my life - mainly the White Sox and 49ers - aren't exactly for the faint of heart. Combined since 2002 the teams have combined for 2 playoff appearances - White Sox in 2005 and 2008. The World Series championship seems so far away, especially given the lack of follow-up to that season in any of the subsequent seasons despite consistently high expectations year in, year out.

On the other end, the Niners have lowered my expectations during that time, to the point where I thought an 8-8 season in 2009 was "a good season". We've had the luxury of having a healthy rotation of coaches since our last playoff appearance in 2002. We're tried offensive-minded coaches, defensive-minded coaches, coaches who had their fathers successfully coach in the league, coaches who used to be successful players a few decades removed. You name it, we've hired a sucky version of it.

While I consider myself somewhat of a Bulls fans, to be fair to the fans of the team through the thick and thin, I will not speak of them in my fandom. For the most part, I root for the Bulls (that is, when I don't have $110 and 10 pitchers on the line). By no means am I a diehard though.

I wish I was though - because I could really use a winning team in my collection of teams I root for (sigh). Losing is tough to swallow, no matter the sport. If only my teams could play without refs....then we'd probably lose every damn game.

Why?

So why the hell am I so loyal to anything and everything relating to sports, given all these factors that annoy me daily or annually? Why would any person deal with the stressors that sports cause, especially when sports are actually supposed to relieve stress of daily life?

I'd say that the main reason that I will continue to love sports despite the above things is the camaraderie that comes from watching sports with my friends. It is unlike any other social aspect of my life. Getting together with friends to watch a sporting event, regardless of gambling/rooting interest or sport, is a priceless time. Also, if it wasn't for sports, I probably would talk to many of my guy friends a lot less than I do. I certainly don't want to take that out of my life. Throwing a few back, wagering a few bucks and sharing laughs and stories outweighs the bad that some aspects of sports create for me.

I suppose I am fine without a sports psychologist in my life. It's not like I'm gambling more than I can afford to lose, getting heart attacks from sports arguments or losing sleep over my teams sucking ass.

In the meantime, I bet you that the refs will cause the Bulls to lose again and that my White Sox will lift up my hopes and then let me down again.

At least my Niners will miss the playoffs along with 31 other teams if there's no season.

Finally, a victory cigar is in order.