Friend it Like Beckham: How FB Has Changed Social Conventions of What a Buddy is

In the past week, I've deleted about 40 friends from Facebook, and I could probably delete 40-50 more people. I've blindly accepted some friend requests in the past, notably from people from high school that I haven't spoken to since then (and really didn't speak to while in high school). I haven't been as quick to delete those ones as some other people who I've met once in my life or not at all and don't anticipate ever talking to again.

I'm wondering how many people actually go through the process of "unfriending" people. I see how many people that people are "friends" with and I laugh hysterically at it. There's no way that anyone could be friends with thousands of people. Sure, you could have met with and had a decent conversation or two with that many people over the course of your life. However, I highly doubt that any of us are truly friends with more than a hundred people at most, and that includes family.

Facebook has changed what it means to be a friend to someone. Back in the day (oh crap, using this phrase legitimately - what's next, a cane and false teeth?), friends were people that you hung out with at least once every so often. You would talk on the phone, talk at school and make plans to hang out.

Now it's probably more than just FB that changes the definition of a friend. As we grow older and move onto our new lives and careers, many of us grow apart and need technology to keep us connected. Hanging out and talking every day is not possible like it was before as a result of our new lives. So perhaps it's necessary to have these technologies to have any semblence to an "every-day friendship" like you may have once had with some people.

I also understand there are different degrees of friendship and different roles that people play in your lives. Some friends are closer, always have been close, and will be your friends whether you have a Facebook or not. Some are friends you may share a particular interest with and just share stories/activites with them and Facebook adds a dimension to your friendship with them that provides some use.

Then there's the friends who add you merely to add to their ever-growing list of friends as a way to boost their friend total. I don't know how anyone with thousands of friends (or even beyond 400-500 friends) could contact all of these people beyond the standard "Happy Birthday" messages in a given year. I don't see how it's possible. If you are a person who has this many people as a friend on FB and you can do this, I applaud you. I just don't see how I could really be friends (and decent enough friends where I know what's going on in people's lifes and hang out with them once every so often) with that many people. Hell, 368 or whatever I got right now is ridiculous.

If you find yourself deleted from my list and you read this blog every so often, no need to take offense. I'm trying to personalize Facebook to be more like who my real friends and real social network are like.

I'd love to try establishing more conversation with some people that I don't talk to as much, so if you read this and haven't talked to me in a while and would like to, please feel free to message me on the site.