Reflecting on an old Buddy's Passing: Two Years Later

Time passes. Memories remain, even if the physical being does not.

Two years flies fast

Two years ago at the beginning of October, my family and I took our old dog Buddy for his last ride. The short six-minute car trip to the vet seemed like it lasted only six seconds, which especially sucked, given the nature of the drive and the empty car we came home with after a trip to the crematory where we had our last sights of his lifeless body.

I remember coming home to the emptier house, and while Pixie (her younger compadre) was not fully aware of what happened, you have to sense that she knew something was not right when we came back and her brother wasn't with us. The first time we let her outside to go to the bathroom, Pixie looked back at the door, as she usually followed her hobbling brother down the stairs - antagonizing him all the way down, biting his back legs as if she were in the wild herding sheep.

But this time, her brother was no longer there. At that moment, I knew she knew something was missing and terribly wrong. It was at that moment, I balled my eyes out (well, for about the 30th time that day anyways, but the first time since we got home from putting the old boy down).

I feel awful that my sister, who was living in Tennessee at the time, was not able to say good-bye to him, although I felt a little better knowing that anytime she came to visit, in the event something like this were to happen, she told me she would say her goodbyes, just in case.

On this particular day, I was less than two weeks into my relationship with Jen. I was not aware at the time, but earlier in the week was the first and only time that Jen would get to meet the stinky dog - also happened to be the first time she met my mom and dad - thanks for sticking all that out Jen!

As the afternoon developed that day, I was wondering if I would stick with my original Saturday evening plan of meeting with Jen and her friends at the bar many of them like to go to right next to their work, as Saturday at 5pm begins their weekends. I don't remember if I justified it this way when I made my ultimate decision of spending the night over at Jen's old place, but I don't know how well I would have done with spending the night in my old basement dwellings that night without my best friend laying right next to the bed, waiting for me to get up so he could hobble up the stairs with me to officially start the day.

Ultimately, I was glad I did go out and try getting away from the two tons of weight that the day had put on my emotional back. I was able to meet some of Jen's friends for the first time. I do remember telling some of them that I wish I had met them on a better day than this and that I may not be myself, but I doubt I needed to explain that given what happened.

I forgot exactly where me and Jen went out to dinner that night (I know it was close to Belmont and Sheffield), but I know it felt good to share my emotions with my new love as my old love had passed. In a brand new relationship, a moment like this can go a long way in determining what the future holds. Sharing my thoughts and enjoying dinner with Jen was as perfect of an end to my night as there could be to such an imperfect day.

As far as the two years that have passed, I wish I could say I've had Buddy in mind every day - because I haven't. But every now and then, when I walk into my office area (or what was planned to be my office area) and see the wallet-sized pictures I have of Buddy and Pixie from when my mom got them professional pictures, I occasionally tear up and always smile when seeing how excited Buddy was for his picture (and how timid and frightened his normally eccentric sister was).

It has been a while since I looked at the blog I wrote for him 18 hours preceding his passing. For those of you who haven't read it or those who would like to read it again, here it is: http://b-boknows.blogspot.com/2011/10/some-buddy-to-love-eulogy-to-this-mans.html. The love me and my family had for him has never died. I'd like to think if anything, the love we had for him is reflected in new loves in our lives: Jen, my nephew Brayden, and anyone else who has joined our lives in the past 2 years.

As the years go by, I'll likely remember October 1st just as well as any other important day of my life, including a later date in October (the 24th was when we put the first dog in my life down when I was 13). The big difference between the two dogs was that I didn't think there was any way in hell of a dog impacting my life the way my old dog Crimmy did. Also, I have full memory of Buddy's entire life, while Crimmy preceded me by a few years.

In both cases, I will always have a fond memory of my childhood and young adulthood living the first 28 years of my life with these two dogs. As I have developed a strong relationship with Jen's two cats (who are now "our cats" in my eyes), I hope to continue to have pets make such a strong impact on my life as they already have.

Some Buddy to Love: A Eulogy to This Man's Best Friend

It started with a kid and his puppy.

Rest in peace to my best friend, Buddy (1996-2011).

August 1996. The day after our annual family trip to Watersmeet, MI, our family decided to go to Archer Puppies, the place where my mom and dad bought our Golden Retriever which they named Crimson. She was in her waning years at this time - over 15 years old, so we decided to get a second dog that would eventually be her replacement.

The word "replacement" seemed laughable at the time. How could any dog replace Crimmy? She was there by my side when I was born in the UP of Michigan and was a loyal, loving dog throughout my life.

The dog we selected was the last of his litter. We wanted to get a similar dog to Crimson - a mutt with some retriever/lab qualities to it, and this dog stood out with his piercing green eyes.

Now, what to name him? A few names were tossed out - Chipper and Buddy were the finalists. We settled on Buddy - original, I know.

Any worries we had about Crimson and Buddy getting along were unwarranted, as the puppy kept out of the way of the queen for the most part. For the few months they co-existed, Buddy was still in his cage days as a pup. These days included a cliche coming to life. I left CCD homework on top of his cage, which he actually chewed - giving me the chance to legitimately use the excuse "My dog ate my homework."

When Crimson was put down in October of that year, we were all devastated. The dog that all of us grew up with was suddenly gone. I just knew that the connection I had with her would be impossible to match with the new pup.

Bud - Wiser: My High School Years

About as mean as he could look.

As he aged, so my love of the dog grew. I loved taking him for walks around the neighbor. My favorite spot was going to El Morro Park, where I'd go to talk to some girls from my class that worked there. Bringing the dog surely didn't help my chances with the girls, unfortunately. Nevertheless, our outdoor activities together as well as teaching him tricks (one of my favorites was catching the treat that was balanced on his big nose) made me happy to know that Buddy was a suitable replacement for Crimson.

Me and Spencer chillin' with a younger Buddy

College Days & the Introduction of Another Dog

Going to the University of Illinois in August of 2001 was the first time that I would go without having a dog around my living area. I knew that college would be tough enough dealing with the adjustments of a new living situation and tougher classes, among other thing. Living without a dog was definitely difficult to do.

Visits back home ensured me that my Buddy never forgot who I was. His cries could be heard and curly tail could be seen wagging furiously as I stepped out of the mini van after my parents picked me up from school. Those weekends spent at home were often spent hanging out with friends, but while at home, my best friend never left my side. It was always bittersweet saying good bye to him and the rest of the family as I left the house.

During my summer break of 2004, the time preceding what would be my senior year at UI, my sister wanted to get another puppy - a beagle mix that we named Pixie. If she did, my dad swore that she would have to take care of it - (editor's note: the next day, he was feeding her and picking up her crap. Dad Fail). I was skeptical of getting a new dog and remembered that one of the main reasons we got a second dog last time was because the older one was on its way out. I was not on board with the second dog idea, and neither was Buddy at first.

It didn't take long for Buddy and Pixie to become friends.

But after a little bit of time together, the dogs became compadres, with Pixie asserting herself as the clear Alpha dog. Soon after, the dogs got in the habit of cleaning each other's ears - a habit that continued into 2011. Buddy would lick her ears after a play fight that they'd have in the living room, while Pixie waited for her brother to be passed out on the floor to gnaw on his ears for 15-30 minutes at a time.

A common sight through their years together.

From the time before we got dog 2 to the time Pixie became an active presence in his life, Buddy's quality of life definitely improved. Each of them became dependent on the other, so much so that neither dog feels comfortable going outside to the bathroom without the other. Despite her occasional bitchiness to the old man, Pixie was a great addition to our household.

The Later Years

In the past couple years, there were a few instances where we wondered how much longer the Bolek's Best Friend was gonna make it. I'd be going on facebook and sharing my worries about his demise, only for him to tell me, "Buzz off, I'm great" with his eventual recovery from whatever the ailment at the time may have been. Hell, there were a lot of times where he'd be the one to initiate a fight with Pixie - putting a big smile on my face anytime he would try attacking her. He was a gentle giant with her though, so never were there any injuries from this ever.

Buddy at the end of one of our many poker games in the garage. He always wanted to be by people.
Don't worry - we drank those beers. He may have had a sip or two though.

The closest I thought we were to his demise was in June of 2010, when he had an inner ear problem (diagnosed as vestibular disease) that severely affected his balance. Luckily, the medication that we gave to him was able to curb his balance problem, and he was back to his old dog self.

With each walk I took him on, I always wondered if each walk that I would take with him around the block would be my last one with him. Luckily, this year, I was able to get his old legs to hobble around the block a few times in August as I was rehabbing from my back injury suffered in July.

In the past couple of months, his quality of life has been low. Many times, you could see him struggle with walking up and down stairs, collapsing occasionally while doing this in addition to some falls while just walking around the house.

The process of discussing putting him to sleep has often left me weeping. How could we put ourselves in this position of ending our dog's life?

It's never an easy decision for a family to make - and it's no different for us. Tears are coming out as I write this. I know it's for the best - as his quality of life was nil. He could barely walk and was starting to make waste in the house - something a functioning Buddy would not do.

Reflecting

I know it was the right choice. We were all waiting for a major sign like we did when Crimson was on her last legs. In her last week, she couldn't walk and had a huge tumor on her leg. I believe she was crapping in the house too. That choice was a lot easier for the family.

Always looked so happy.

Buddy could still walk, but do we want to keep watching him struggle mightily and collapse frequently as he navigated steps and could barely walk on flat ground without the chance of falling into a sitting or laying position? We couldn't keep doing that, so putting him down was the only logical option.

I never thought that Buddy could leave a legacy that could match (and in some ways, exceed) the dog before. But he did. He was always a happy dog, always loyal and always following me around. In the last couple years, he made a habit of sleeping next to my bed. He wouldn't even wake up for my dad anymore - just for when I'd roll out of bed to start my day.

Great picture taken by Lauren here.

In his last night with me, it was much of the same. Making it all the harder to do.

As I had imagined it in my head for years, I was able to share some Miller Lite with him (his favorite beer) the night before we put him down. He didn't finish the bowl, but he drank a decent portion of it.

I made sure to give him as loving of a last hug as I could - much like my sis's hug here.

I'll remember all of the walks we took, the treats I'd toss for him to catch, the tennis balls I would have him fetch (and oftentimes, the tennis balls that I ended up fetching after he got bored with it).

About thirty minutes before we brought him in, I decided that I needed one last walk around the block with him. I'm really, really, really glad I did.

He was always by my side, and he will be missed. It will be a tough thing to get through, but with the love and support of my family and friends, I know I'll be ok.

So it goes, it ended with a man and his dog.

The sun will always shine bright on this old guy.

The 5,529 days in-between, full of memories and great bonding experiences between man and dog, is an era of my life that I'll never forget.

Rest in peace, my stinky boy. You will be missed.

Four Seasons, One Summer Shandy

Awesome signs of the summer ahead in the past 6 hours:

-Walking dog around the block: This may not sound like much, especially to those of you who walk your dog for a mile or more. But getting to walk the old dog for at least one more season, one more time, made my day worthwhile. It took about 6 minutes to walk around the block, since Buddy wanted to sniff every tree and urinate on about half of them.

-Summer Shandy commercial: arguably my favorite seasonal beer. I'll need to remember to store up on this when they phase it out in September. I think I'm gonna buy a couple of 12-ers and watch some sports and movies tonight. I hope to find a good bar for the summer that serves this on tap and calling that place my home.

-Donning the shorts: This is always a landmark day of any year- the first day of wearing shorts. This wouldn't mean much to my brother and Tim Wolf, who wear shorts all year round. While the shorts phase is by no means a staple throughout the year, its introduction into the wardrobe makes the pants prepare for their nearing hibernation.

-Softball/baseball/betting: While my mom was misinformed about my pre-teen cousin's softball game being today (it is tomorrow), the sign of games being played is a true sign of summer. Also watching the annually hyped Red Sox/Yanks game on the annually over-rated Joe Buck and Tim McCarver broadcasting network and betting on it (I bet the over, it came in with 4 1/2 innings to spare- first baseball bet won of 3 bets placed this year). And currently, watching the Sox winning with the slimmest of margins through 5.5 innings. Maybe this is the year I get back into baseball, because it's been slowly waning in my consciousness ever since I started watching/betting on NFL. I think going to 10-15 games (my goal) will help with that. If you are reading this, you are encouraged to get me off my ass to go to a game.

Feel free to share your own personal signs of summer.

I can't wait till the above scenarios are all in alignment with each other like an eclipse: a Summer Shandy on an 80 degree day, getting the 15 year old dog to sip the Fountain of Youth for a 5 minute walk, and ending the day at the ball park with a White Sox winner.

Time to buy the beer and get the Summer (Shandy) unofficially started.

My dog's breath is making my nostrils peel

I'm trying to get my NFL picks together and all I can smell is my dog's rank ass breath, so if my picks suck this week, I'm gonna blame the dog.

Last week: 3-3, -$4; YTD: 17-12, $197 in NFL.

Week 6 picks, with pick in ( ):

San Diego at St. Louis (+8.5): Still trying to figure out this line. SD is 0-3 on the road, St. Louis 2-1 at home, and you're giving a score+ total to the home team? This is my favorite line of the week. StL will definitely cover and may even win.

Detroit (+10) at NYG: Detroit has been quite respectable on the road this year, losing by 5, 14 and 2 (unlike year's past where they would lose consistently by 20+ points. This seems like the perfect spot for an NYG let down- their past two games have been amazing defensive performances. There's something about Eli that I don't like or trust in this spot. I say Det keeps this close and loses by 3-4.

Oakland (+6.5) at SF: Again, not sure why an 0-5 team is spotting 6.5 points to anyone. Bush proved to be just as good of an option as McFadden, and I expect them to pound the rock some more. SF is due for a win soon, but I could very well see an upset here from Oakland, if you wanna call it an upset.


Those are the bets for now. Also got SF Giants tonight in my efforts to go 8-0 in postseason betting.

Let's keep the gravy train rolling, my dogs rank ass breath be damned.