Grandma Bolek - A Year Later

I remember last year like it was yesterday.

April 27th - woke up my usual time to roll out of bed and start a busy day of work from home. My boss was looking to get business for a few of our consultants that were nearing the end of their stints at their respective projects.

I briefly considered joining my friend Don for his Game 7 journey to see his Pittsburgh Penguins in Pitt, but knew with how busy I was with work, I couldn't go. Plus, in the back of my mind, I knew that the end of my grandma's life could be near.

The night before, based on how my dad sounded after visiting my grandma at her house, right around the block, I knew that Grandma Bolek was taking a turn for the worse, with a life expectancy not in her favor.

As I started working that drury Wednesday morning, I got that call that I knew was coming but wasn't ready to answer. Caller ID shows up as Dad, who had just went over to my Grandma's about 30-45 minutes earlier. I answered the phone and could immediately hear the tears in his voice. Virginia Bolek had passed away at the age of 90.

An Unequaled Legacy

Nine great decades on this Earth. People couldn't ask for a better life. She had a total of 50 (FIFTY!) grandchildren (15), great-grandchildren (33) and great-great-grandchildren (2). In our own ways, we all represent and carry on the legacy that Grandma Bolek left behind.

The marriage of Peter and Virginia Bolek was the start of a wide family tree that continues to expand as we speak, with my brother's upcoming marriage bringing yet another Bolek onboard (Welcome Amber!).

I always wish I had a chance to get to know both of my Grandpas better. My Grandpa Bolek, who passed when I was a young teen, taught me how to pour my first beer as I poured an Old Style of his while tilting the glass. I would have loved to have a beer with him and my Grandpa Raynor during my adulthood, but it wasn't meant to be.

After the passing of my Grandpa Bolek when I was 15 (1998), I bowled my first ever 200 game that same day. Of course, it was dedicated to him.

Meanwhile, Grandma Bolek continued trucking on without her long-time husband. She may have shrunk to under 100 pounds and could have easily blown away in a 20 mph wind in her later years, but don't mistake small for weak. To get by without your life partner for as long as she did, she had to be a strong woman. A great matriarch for all of us Boleks to look up to.

The support network around her definitely helped, with all five of her kids within a 30 minute drive, many within a mile or two. Christmas Eves were always a special treat, with Grandma at the center stage getting the gifts from her kids and grand-kids.

As the years went on, Grandma maintained a healthy life for the most part. Occasionally, you'll see someone close to you have a relative that suffers the last couple years of their lives. Certainly no way that I'd want to go. And luckily for us, it wasn't the way that Grandma Bolek was. Up until the last two months of her life, she maintained a mental strength that rivaled someone decades younger than her.

It was tough seeing Grandma during the latter months. It wasn't the grandma I grew up with, playing Store with me, my brother and sister; hiding the plastic Easter Eggs with the quarters in them in her backyard; celebrating Halloween by dressing up like a witch as if she were 10.

The Call...

So when I got that call from my dad around 8:45am that day to hear of her passing, my immediate reaction was sadness. But then I thought about her suffering and realized that it would be better (at least I think) for her to die peacefully, which she did in the place she called home for about 30 years.

I decided I wanted to see her after her passing in what was my second home for much of my childhood. I called my boss as I was making the walk around the block to let him know of the passing.

When I finally got there and saw her lifeless body, I knew she died peacefully. While wiping away tears, it made me happy knowing that she didn't suffer much. My dad and all of his siblings and their significant others were all there. It was fitting for her to have them all there, as she was a person that everyone wanted to be around.

When it came time to honor my grandma, I did it the best way I knew how: in prose. Here's the link to what I wrote and read the day of her funeral: http://b-boknows.blogspot.com/2011/04/aint-she-grand-bolek-matriarch.html.  I was pleasantly surprised with the reaction that I got afterwards, with many of my family coming up to me thanking me for reading that in front of the family at the church.

It was the least I could do for the woman who defined what it was to be a Bolek. From her, I saw a woman who didn't mind passing gas in public - definitely a characteristic that some of us Boleks have carried on (much to the dismay of the people around us).

But on a more serious note, I saw a woman who was the nicest mother, friend, sister, and grandmother to all. I saw a woman who had a profound impact on all of our lives, who enjoyed seeing all of us grow up and spoiled the hell out of all of us.

We still miss you Grandma. We try living up to the Bolek name as best as we can. We can only hope to leave a shred of the legacy that you did.

Rest in peace to Grandma Bolek, a year removed from this world.

Love always,

Your Family & Friends