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| Some of the ticket stubs from "The Road Trip" |
Ten years ago.
Three skinny dudes.
12 baseball stadiums.
Two countries.
$1200 hard earned dollars pushing carts and bagging old people's groceries spent.
Enough numbers and sentence fragments for ya? Hopefully it should be. My trip with two gentlemen - we'll call them "Kudla" and "Luzzo" - was no doubt one of those life stories that I'll always be able to tell. From the early moments of walking through Detroit at night back to our car parked miles away (thanks "Kudla") to "Luzzo" doing all he could to chase down the Philly Phanatic and everything else, they are memories that will never sour in my mind.
Sure, there's probably a few stories here and there that I forgot that the other two might remember. I have a tendency to remember the strangest things, like being able to recall what "Kudla"'s idle status used to be on AIM when hearing the Aerosmith lyric, "Get up and go. Must have got up and went.", while forgetting the things I should have always remembered.
I was going to compile a list of my favorite stadiums, but I didn't really take good mental notes on stadium looks, amenities, and all that other jazz that goes into making good judgments on that sort of list.
Instead, I'll compile a list of 7 moments that I can recall (without looking at my journal of the trip) that stick out as the moments of the trip.
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| Ticket stub that Kenny Lofton signed for me. |
7. Kenny Lofton autograph - With each game we went to, our intention was to get there early enough to catch batting practice, take a quick tour of the stadium, and perhaps meet some players. The first day of the trip featured the White Sox in Detroit. I happened to see Kenny Lofton talking to a guy who works at the park - appeared to be a friend of his - as I was walking around. I'm not, nor really haven't been since I was about 7 of 8, a guy who is screaming for an autograph. But I figured, first day of the trip, getting a White Sox player to autograph my ticket would be a cool memento. Lofton agreed to that as long as I would take a picture of him and the guy he was talking to. Sounded like a fair trade to me.
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| The balls we caught in batting practice in Pittsburgh. Kudla had to buy his baseball. |
6. No Shirt, We Got Problems - Before we went to the Pirates games and saw a once-in-a-career performance by journeyman Adam Hyzdu (we saw him get 7 of his 63 career RBI in one game), we walked around the city of Pittsburgh to see what the city had to offer (as we did at all of the other cities). The temperature probably climbed into the 90s, basing off of the evening game time temperature (according to baseball-reference of the July 20, 2002 game) of 87 degrees. This rise in temperature caused some of us (hint: his name rhymes with Muzzo) to take their shirts off, leaving the others not wanting to walk within twenty feet of this said individual. And keep in mind, this is when we were in somewhat normal shape. Now? Yikes, couldn't imagine us doing that. I believe he kept trying to get us to high-five him, but we didn't. Maybe I'm not remembering that last part right, but I'm fairly sure of the avoiding shirtless Muzzo part.
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One of many mascots that Luzzo stalked met. |
5. The 45-minute tour of Cooperstown - Out of our 12 days on the road, we had only one day off. This day off was no ordinary day off of course. We were on our way from Montreal, and after we crossed the northern border of New York, our plan was to spend many hours at baseball's ultimate museum in Cooperstown, the site of Baseball's Hall of Fame. The only problem was - we couldn't find the damn small state or rural route that took us there. I remember hearing from someone before the trip that the road was hard to find, but I didn't think three morons would have a problem finding it. How wrong I was. After hours of just looking for the road that took us there, we finally found it and got to the museum an hour before it closed. Fast-walking through Cooperstown was not what we had in mind, but it was our only choice. I'm thinking GPS would help if we were to make another trip there, but knowing us, we may be able to find a way to screw it up.
4. First Legal Beer - The third game of our trip brought us to my first out-of-country experience, unless you'd like to refer to Canada as America, Jr. or America's Hat. And as any 19-year old who just started drinking a few beers at college would know, Canada allows kids that age to enjoy a cold alcoholic beverage. I can always say that my first ever "legal" beer was a Molson at the Skydome in Toronto. I don't remember what it tasted like, but I'm pretty sure it tasted like crap. Showing my "Under 21" American ID to get a beer empowered me for once. We saw Chris Carpenter as a Blue Jay throw a gem against the Red Sox, but that's not what I remember the game for - it was my first beers. Our ride across the country to Montreal, I believe I was passed out in the back seat of the van (or as drunk people call it, time travelling), all screwed up from the 5 (yes, only 5) beers that I had that day. Which brings me to my next story....
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| The road trippers at what used to be a MLB stadium in Montreal |
3. Hotel Le Rivage & Porn in the Morn - One of the things we did when booking our road trip was say that we were booking a room for two to save a couple bucks at each stay. When we arrived at the Montreal hotel we booked months earlier, I was the one who stayed in the car while Luzzo and Kudla checked us into our hotel. In this moment, I think I missed the moment of the trip. You see, this was before the days of using the Internet to Google hotels and see reviews of a hotel and everything about it. Turns out, we had booked a room at a sex hotel. When the boys came back to the car to get our belongings to bring back to the room, I saw a look on their faces that told me that I had missed something hilarious beyond belief. I'm thinking the person who confirmed our reservation looked at them two laughed and said, "You're kidding, right? You're the ugliest gay couple we've ever seen", except in French.
Sure enough, the room had mirrors through the room (on basically every wall, including the ceiling), although based on a quick Google search of ratings for the hotel, we apparently missed the chance to have a room with a stripper pole. Damn you, Hotel Le Rivage. Anywho, aside from all the mirrors that none of us (that I know of) took full advantage of, one of the best part of the room was the sticker on the TV that told us what channel the porn was on. And since it was in the morning that I noticed this, it inspired me to come up with the term "Porn in the Morn". It got a good laugh then, and I thought it may have to do with us being so young. Nope - it had to do with us being guys, because I still find it to be a great term.
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| Luckily, this was as close as we were to being mauled in Detroit. |
2. Walking in Detroit - The first day of the trip had neared its end. We had seen the White Sox beat down the Tigers and were thinking about our next stop in Cleveland, hoping the trip would continue down this path of awesomeness. Instead of taking the path back to our car the same way we did before (on the safe and reliable Monorail), we decided to walk back to our car, which I believe was over a mile away. Aside from being known as a safe city to walk in at night (my fingers love typing that sarcastic garbage), Detroit offers no reason for three skinny white boys to make an unnecessary adventure back to their car. I rank this number 2, because besides surviving a shitty situation, we didn't have a worry-free walk back. Almost a few blocks away from the park, we have somebody start following us and talking to us, asking us for money. He kept following us despite our insistence that we had no money on us. A police siren in the distance had our follower state, "Oh shit, was that the po-lice?" That comforted us the way a diet brownie comforts Roseanne. As we kept walking, the guy darted off to the other side of the street to say what's up to someone we knew, and we breathed a sigh of relief. We forgot we had a rest of the trip to worry about during this moment. Cleveland was next - another busy day awaited. Once we lived that day out, we had my #1 experience of the trip. The type of moment that you'd see in just about any cliched Hollywood movie about road trips.
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| One of the last times we smiled together between Cleveland & Buffalo |
1. ...in a Van down by the Wal-Mart (or was it a K-Mart?) - The second night drive of our trip was from Cleveland to Buffalo, NY. We had to leave the extra-inning Indians/Yankees game early in order to make sure our car did not get locked in the garage we parked it in. This was one of my longest drives of the trip (I left the driving mostly to Kudla and Luzzo since I preferred to be a spectator). As we approach Buffalo in the wee hours of the morning, we get to our hotel, only to find out that we were too late to check into the hotel (despite having a room booked). On edge at this point, we have no idea where we're going to sleep. It's about 3 or 4am local time, and Luzzo is annoying the living piss out of me. He's telling me how to drive, where to turn - to be honest, I forgot everything that annoyed me about what he said or what he actually said. I just remember being pissed off beyond belief. We decide that we're gonna sleep in the van for the night. We found the Wal-Mart parking lot and called it our hotel for the night (pretty sure his directions to this Wal-Mart are what got me pissed off). I don't recall how many hours (if any) I slept that night. All I know is, we spent a night of our wonderful road trip in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Unfortunately, the picture that was taken of me giving the portable camera the finger went missing somewhere along the trip. We did our cleaning for the next day's travels in the Wal-Mart bathroom. To be honest, as I write this, I forgot if it was a Wal-Mart or a K-Mart. I guess it doesn't matter. I remember this part of the trip not for the name of the store whose parking lot we bunked at, but for the great moment that it produced.
As with almost any and all road trips, it's the unscripted, unplanned moments that always end up topping our memory banks once the trip is done. And this trip was no exception.
I'm glad we did this road trip, because not only was it a once-in-a-lifetime experience that we all knew at the time was once-in-a-lifetime (whether we admitted it or not was another story). The best part of the trip was that it created a lifetime bond for three guys, who at the time had barely known each other for more than a year or two.
