Disposing of Losing Bets

This is what I get for betting the Yankees, now down 3-1

Anyone who has gone to Vegas or an OTB to bet horses has seen a similar betting slip like the one above. Well, minus the "Suck Balls" part, I would think (unless you happened to bet on a team that was named "Suck Balls").

Also, anyone who knows me knows that I have unique ways of disposing of losing bets. On my last Vegas trip, I urinated on a bet that wasn't even over yet just because I knew how it was gonna end (and luckily, the Dodgers didn't come back and cover the 1.5 runs I spotted them after blowing a 6-0 first inning lead on me). That was soon followed up by the eating of a losing bet and also crapping on one - I believe all were on the same trip.

I am on the precipice of losing this bet above and likely will be at school tomorrow when the Yanks game is complete tomorrow. I'm wondering how I should go about the destruction of this bet should the Yanks lose (and I am betting that they will- looking to go 10-0 at the expense of my World Series bet). Or perhaps I can rip it into thirds and dispose of it in several different ways- like a combination of burning, feeding to dogs and chucking at an old person. I'm open to suggestion.

Hate to Love, Love to Hate



My deal with the devil, made in March

 Above is my gambling slip graciously handled by my friend Lindsay when she was in Vegas 7 months ago. I must say (as a Sox fan), it feels somewhat awkward for anyone outside of the Bronx to actively root for the Yankees outside of the 9-11 season, when suddenly the Yankees were baseball's version of "America's Team".  However, I find nothing awkward about getting back $304 on an $80 investment.


Cheering on the Yanks brings up something I've been saying for years...the Yankees are actually GOOD for baseball, and baseball needs them to continue being a good franchise that is hated by the rest of the markets. While the rivalry won't be revisited and is a bit overplayed to the point where both feel like ESPN's local teams, the Yanks/Red Sox is the best thing that the game has going for it, much better than Cardinals/Cubs for the simple fact that the latter hardly ever has them battling for/within postseason play. I won't be cheering the Yanks on in future years where I haven't made a futures bet. However, their ownership does everything that other fans wish that many of their teams wish they would do: actively care about winning. The Yankees cannot be faulted for spending money that they possess--in fact, the ire of fan's eyes should really be the owners of the crappy teams who pocket their revenue sharing money instead of spending it, money that comes from Yankees being forced to pay a luxury tax under the baseball guidelines.


Same thing in regards to other sports-having a team to hate is always good for the sport. Take the Miami Heat. As much as I think Lebron is a douche for leaving Cleveland the way he did, what he and his partners in crime have done is make Miami infinitely more marketable via hatred. Tell me you aren't looking forward to rooting on whoever the Heat are playing on a nightly basis, especially the Bulls. And how awkward is it gonna be to potentially see an NBA Finals in which Los Angeles is the team that Joe Public is rooting for?


An anagram for Heat is "Hate", which is exactly what everyone is going to love to do with the talents in South Beach. Hate = $$$, and as many of you know, $$$ = Good, unless you buy into the Mo' Money, Mo' Problems state of economy, as preached by the late great Christopher Wallace.


Let the Haters hate the Heat and the Yanks. I'm sure the money and future championships will lessen the pain that those players feel. I have 304 reasons to believe this.