Just Like My Dad

When someone compares me looks-wise to my dad, I'm never sure how to take that. I know I sound like him, especially on the phone. I especially know that I act exactly like him when I got my classmates in my group telling me to settle down as I appear anxious to get everything organized for our project- I can't help but be fidgety when I got nothing to do on the project until post-production.

We have similar love of fountain pops, humor and farting. When you can share the love of those three with anyone, I guess that's all you need really.

But seriously, when I'm told I look at him....really?

Dad at his cataract surgery. Do I really look like this dumbass?

C'MON MAN! If I look like this, then I might as well just Bobbitt myself now and accept the reality altogether.


(the below added 6-19-11)

In all honesty, I wouldn't be the man today if it wasn't for my dad. Every man would become a better one by learning something from him- especially how to treat and talk to people.

Thanks for everything, Pops. A fitting name for a man who can never stop getting the fountain soda from Jewel Express and 7-11.

Love you.

-Brian

Meh...should I get Twitter?...and other crap

Sorry to my loyal following of readers (all 3 of you) for the lack of posts. I'm sure you've read most of the things I would post in here on facebook anyways. Which reminds me, facebook has this new option to merge texts, chats and emails into one thing- never used it, don't know how it would work or if I even have the need for it.

Also reminds me that I've considered starting a twitter account, but I'm not sure why I would or should. I'd probably subscribe/follow some friends' accounts and see if there's any gamblers through Covers who use it, but I'm not in any hurry to get one just yet. That twitter crap with the Bears game and everyone and their dog having an opinion on Jay Cutler is pathetic at best and just shows the worst aspects of social media and society merging together. I'm not sure if I'm ready to handle another virtual social outlet where I'm encountering dumbasses or dumbass comments/updates on a daily basis. And yes, I'm sure I'm guilty of this a lot- but my goal with facebook, as with my life in general, is to laugh and entertain.

Anyone have any thoughts on this shit? Is twitter a waste of your time in the same way facebook is? I waste so much time on computers (and now my phone) looking at facebook and seeing what people are eating and when they are brushing their teeth and taking a crap (now if you're doing all three at once, that's something I'd like to know about).

And gambling- I won't be doing as much of that now that football is done. But I am leaning toward the Super Bowl going to Green Bay and possibly betting them and/or the over of the game. I hate the wait for the game, but even worse, I hate the feeling I get after the game when there's no more meaningful football till September (and maybe longer in 2011).

Mehh-ry Christ-mehhs

I only look forward to a few things on Christmas these days- (1) the variety of sports, including an NFL game this year and (2) the time with family. The past couple Christmases, including the one that hasn't occurred just yet, seem void of something. Maybe it's the being single thing, maybe it's the getting older thing. I just don't give as much of a shit as I used to, not even close. Getting gifts has been overshadowed by the giving of gifts in terms of where I get the most joy. I suppose I shouldn't dwell on this blah feel that I get around this time of the year and just enjoy the "presence" of people around me -- terrible pun.

I suppose that's what I'll try doing....that and some Christmas cocktails.


NFL bets...streaking right now with totals (8 in a row), overall of 37-26, including 4-0 in week 15.

Thursday bet: Pitt/Car Under (37-38): Not sure what I'll get it at. I'm not worried about Troy being gone for Pitt. Car can run the ball, but that's where Pitt's strength (about 65 yards a game allowed a game) exists. I expect Pitt to run the ball a lot as well (35-40 times). Expecting a 24-7ish type of score.

Merry Christmas to my friends and family who read this, all 5 of you. If you're reading this- buy me something good because I'm sure I did the same for you.

-Brian

Snow Job

Everyone is bitching about the weather in Minnesota. Everyone bitches about everything. It'll be like playing football on that less-than-stellar field you played on when you were a kid and it was 5 degrees out with snow. I understand the safety concerns, but since when does anyone care what a punter thinks? Not like he's gonna get hit to the ground. What's next, a long-snapper telling me his opinions on abortion?

At first I took what he said seriously, but the game is dangerous no matter the weather or field conditions. Solid hits probably won't be as prevalent in this weather since the speed of the guys running is going to be slower. Instead of focusing on the talent on the field (like we/I should have been doing last week with the New England game), everything's been focused on the weather. The Bears are a better team, with or without Favre starting. As I write this, decision is being made on his playing status, but I don't care.

Bears get at least one defensive score today and win 24-14.

Book it...which I did with the Over for the game to win 50. Record of 3-0 for the week so far with GB/NE over easily coming in last night. Overall NFL record now is 36-26.

To my ladies and gents who read this: enjoy your Snow Jobs.

Bowl(ek) Game Betting Thread

I'm gonna keep track of all the bets I make on the bowls in this thread here:

Bet 1: Fresno St (+1.5) vs. NIU- $55 to win $50. NIU just lost their new coach and coming off of an upset loss in the MAC conference championship. Fresno is familiar with the smurf turf in Boise and coming off a win against Illinois (who beat NIU earlier this year). Result: Yikes....what a waste of $55

Bet 2: Hawaii/Tulsa Over 75- $44 to win $40....I forgot to write this one up earlier, but I had to have a degenerate Christmas Eve bet. I saw both teams score about 40 a game, so what the hell. Result: 96 points, 61-35....what a genius bet. $40 richer.

Like Chris Brown did to Rihanna, I am doing to the sportsbook

"If the cops ask, this is how many times I hit you...there, you got it!"

Ok, ok. I haven't sent the sportsbook to the hospital yet or asked the sportsbook to forgive me and go back out with me. But there's still 6 weeks of football left, so give that some time.

This has seriously been one of the best seasons I've had in betting games. Only comparable stretch I had was in early 2009 when I made a profit for like 15-16 straight days when I had an online account on a site called bookmaker ("We can't pay you fast enough" was a t-shirt I got with gambling points from using their site so much over the years). A bad stretch from late October thru middle of November had me thinking the first 7-8 weeks of football were a mirage, but I regrouped and have started to kick the shit out of the guy who books my bets. And believe me, it's hard to kick the shit out of someone you've never met before, but that's just how awesome I've been. Winning money while gambling is one of the sweetest feelings that there is to experience (editor's note: there's a lot of feelings that I haven't encountered yet, so hence the bold/pathetic statement). If you aren't a gambler or don't do sports betting, then it's hard to describe or analogize (if that's even a word). Maybe it's like giving birth to a genetically superior child, except here, the child is a wad of money.

Totally nailed the under of the Niners game yesterday (barely). Thank you to the impotent 49ers offense for scoring only 7 points to help keep the total score under 45. A nice 5 game streak of totals bets amidst a 11-3 run recently has me at a season high 8 games above .500 (34-26 - 56.7%) in NFL betting. Hoping to avoid another slump like I experienced last month.

Give a brother some love and take these money makers to the bank:

Miami/Buffalo (Under 41): Inept offenses on both sides. While in the past Miami's rushing game was their strength, their two-headed monster of Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams never got going this year. This may be their last chance to do so, as the Bills rush defense is the worst in the league. I expect Miami to run the ball about 45-50 times between their running backs and keep this clock going. However, Miami's had a lot of drives stall this year, leading to high fantasy scores for kicker Dan Carpenter- so I project Miami for 1 ground TD and about 3-4 field goals here. Miami QBs for one reason or another (maybe it's just cuz they suck balls) haven't been able to get Brandon Marshall the ball. On the other side of the ball, signal-caller Ryan Fitzpatrick has lost his deep threat Lee Evans, which makes me think that Steve Johnson, who quietly is 5th in receiving TDs this year, will be seeing double teams the rest of the year. Fitz doesn't make many mistakes, so I don't expect to see any of the pick-6s that you might be accustomed to seeing with Peyton Manning lately. Buffalo will feature Fred Jackson, who has made his share of big plays this year. I think the loss of Evans will also allow to stack the box more on Jackson, so I don't expect many big plays. I envision a 16-13 score.

Leans- I don't have strong feelings on much outside of that under, but I'll probably book a few more bets on Sunday outside of that. Right now, Carolina -2.5, Balt/NO Over 44, NYG/Phil under 46, Detroit +5.5 and Jax +4.5 are all on my radar.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend before Christmas. If you're getting drunk- let someone else drive and puke in their car. If you're a DD, feel free to punch me in the face if someone listens to this statement and tells you Brian Bolek told me to do this.

Bowl Chumpionship Series

On the eve of bowl season about to begin, college football teams are releasing 2011 and 2012 schedules. I happen to catch the nonconference powerhouses that Illinois is going to play in those two years. If you aren't already seated, I suggest doing so, as these powerhouse names will potentially give you a heart attack:

2011
Arkansas State
South Dakota State
Arizona State
Western Michigan

2012
Western Michigan
@Arizona State
Charleston Southern
Louisiana Tech

Outside of Arizona State, who was a very competitive Pac 10 team this year (i.e. lost to Oregon by lower double digits when compared to Oregon's normal beatdowns against teams), those are all home games in September that Illinois should win. You got those ignorant assholes like Ohio St's president who said teams like Boise and TCU, if undefeated, don't deserve to play in the title game because of their soft schedules. I really don't feel like looking up their schedule, but I know OSU's schedules in an average September look very similar (at least 3 of 4 games are at home and against bottom-tier college teams that are willing to get destroyed on the gridiron in exchange for a cut of the money produced for the game). Schedules like this are encouraged for the big conferences, who often have 7-8 different bowl game tie-ins after the season ends. In order to qualify for a bowl, you need 6 wins. With 8 conference games for a typical conference, a team can go 2-6 or 3-5 in conference and still make a bowl. This is accomplished by scheduling a minimum of 3 patsies that will allow you to rape them with a pigskin for 60 minutes (3 hours, 15 minutes in actual time) - AT YOUR OWN HOME NO LESS!

Meanwhile, Boise State has to schedule at least 2 of 4 nonconference games against respectable BCS schools (this year, Virginia Tech and Oregon State), win those games convincingly, win their conference games even more convincingly and pray that all of the BCS schools get at least one loss on their schedule somewhere - and even then that's not enough. How many teams leapt over Boise State this year (before they lost to Nevada), even though Boise started the year ranked 3rd? If Boise was a major market team, they would have ascended to 1 or 2 at some point in the season based on losses in front of them. Now, I know they lost a few weeks back and TCU would be a better example this year, but all I'm saying is that there is absolutely ZERO chance of these teams ever making the championship game no matter what they do, because the people who vote in these polls that heavily influence the BCS standings will always find a way to say that Boise's (or Team X in non-power conference) schedule is too soft and thus put them in a lower position as a result. If you're ever in Vegas looking at betting futures odds, I'd never invest a single dime in a non-BCS school's chances of winning the title.


Now the Week 14 final pick...Hou/Balt over 46 ($66 to win $60): I'm too lazy to write an extensive write-up, but I'll just say that I expect this to be a passing game for both teams (Houston's pass D is the worst in the league), and wouldn't be surprised to see a pick-six or two. I see this around a 30-27 final score.

Week 14 picks from Thurs-Sun: 4-2, $80; Year-to-date in NFL: 32-26, +$88


Turn out the lights, the party's over.