A Letter to Santa - from a nearly 30-year old man

Dear Santa,

Now that your trek around the world has commenced, I'm sure you'll be a little too busy to read this, but whatever. Get around to it next week or beginning of 2013 when you've had a few days to rest off those billions of glasses of milk and even more billions of cookies. Good God, I hope you're not lactose intolerant. I feel sorry for Mrs. Claus.

Anyways...

I wanted to write to you today to let you know about a part of me that's been missing in my Christmases for many years now (perhaps 10 years, maybe a little less).

These people (and many additions since) are among many reasons why I will always love Christmas

It's not a loss of loving the holiday - I still love everything that comes from Christmas. The parties, people getting together, enjoying time with both sides of my family (I'm a lucky man to be able to say this) as well as new family I've been accepted into from my girlfriend's side.

I guess the part of Christmas that I haven't been able to feel in a while is the feeling of innocence, where your existence was never questioned, even though there were plenty of signs that pointed to Papa and Mama Claus living inside my home. While I didn't recognize it when I was younger, my dad's handwriting on a chalkboard that we got for a Christmas gift sticks out to me much later in life.

I miss the being young part, not being able to sleep till later at night because I was so excited to wake up to Christmas gifts. I'd always be the one who woke everyone up - my parents, my sister and brother.

Now? I go to bed my normal time on Christmas and then we all wake up when we feel like it. Not at the crack of dawn like when we were kids. Now, a little extra sleep is what I look forward to on Christmas, not the gifts.

Another group of people I'll always try to get together with on Christmases

Maybe I need to experience Christmas from a parent's point-of-view, where they get to experience the joys of their kids as they tear through their carefully wrapped presents (editor's note: if it was up to me, I'd continue to wrap my future kids gifts in newspaper, as you've seen on FB pictures of mine before).

Don't get me wrong Santa. I still believe in the idea of you, or at least the positive aspects that you bring to the table. Your jolly spirit brings hope and smiles to children around the world. While your shopping mall impersonators may not do you justice, the fact that kids wait in line to see you for hours tells you just how much they love the idea of you.

The idea of believing in something or someone (or in my case, the lack thereof) is perhaps what slowly but surely faded my kid-like enthusiasm for Christmas.

In the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy the spirit of the holiday in other ways. I'll make sure to note the looks on my little cousin's faces when they open their gifts to soak in how I used to react to Christmases past.

Take care of yourself, stay in shape, and make sure not to pass too much gas in front of Mrs. Claus - she doesn't deserve that punishment.





All my best,

Brian

Believe

On this day off from work, one that I was planning on taking anyways but a mild fever of 100 would have probably made me call my boss anyways like a wuss, I feel compelled to write again.

I wish I gave myself the time to write these blogs more. I feel like I get rusty with writing when I go weeks at a time without writing.

Anyways, this blog is a seasonal topic - the topic of belief.

During this time of year, it seems to make all the difference in the world as to whether you Believe or not. When you still Believe, your innocence is maintained. When you still Believe, you KNOW the gifts that you open are from the man at the North Pole.

Believing in something or someone is what separates adults from kids at this time of year. I think I was about 11 or 12 when I questioned my Believing in these seasonal things to my parents. After all, the writing was on the chalkboard - I remember getting a chalkboard as a kid and can distinctly remember the style in which Santa wrote his message on the board. It was CLEARLY my dad's handwriting. But back then, I was too young to play the role of CSI on the chalkboard writing sample.

After the myth was revealed, it wasn't like I stopped enjoying Christmas. I have a family I love spending time with every year - both immediate and aunts/uncles/cousins. But there is a part of that Belief being wiped out that makes Christmas lose its childhood luster.

Nowadays, like most adults I know, I get way more out of giving gifts than getting them. With most people I buy for, I go based off of gut feeling on what they will like rather than a list. I think it's only fair - after all, I waited until about two days ago to write a list to my mom of what I wanted for Christmas.

I think my full renewal into Belief mode will be when I become a Papa. It seems to me that coming full-circle on the whole getting gifts as a kid to giving gifts to my kids will get the Belief spirit back into me. Having a kid who Believes will turn me back into a kid myself.

The innocence will be renewed, and the cycle of Belief will continue. When that time comes, I think these last few sentences will prove to be prophetic.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and whatever holiday around this time I missed (oh yeah, Happy Boxing Day) to everyone I know!